Short Stuff

Jan 31 2011

I had a revelation several years ago while looking at vacation photos.

I don’t have to wear shorts again.  Ever.  In my whole life.

I’m short.  I’m not skinny.  I look terrible in shorts.

They creep up my legs all by themselves and become something of a social hazard.  I mean, shorts don’t have a whole lot of room to creep places, you know?

I did myself and the entire world a favor when I realized that light weight pants and capris and skirts were the wave of my future.

You’re very, very welcome.

I had the same kind of revelation about folding laundry.  It was the same in the sense that I realized I don’t have to do it, and you can’t make me.

It tells you something about my personality that I’m grinning from ear to ear after typing “I don’t have to do it, and you can’t make me.”   Hehehe.

Now, to be clear, I don’t mind doing laundry, as in washing and drying clothes.  I’ve just never been successful at folding laundry or putting it away.  Kind of like I wasn’t ever successful at looking good in shorts.  (Geez, that was a good analogy… it just keeps on giving.)

We used to use the Clean Pile/Dirty Pile system.  In case it’s not already super, duper, extra obvious, that’s the system where you dump all your clean clothes into a pile and then, when they get dirty, you put them into a separate, dirty pile.  When the dirty pile is bigger than the clean pile, it’s time to do a load or five of wash.

I may have used “system” a little loosely.

Now we use a much more advanced system.  I call it the Great Wall of Laundry.

Here’s our laundry room now:

That’s a grid of laundry baskets with our clean clothes dumped in ’em.  Yep, dumped.

Each person gets a “bottoms” basket and a “tops” basket.  We also have baskets for dance clothes, grown-out-of-’em clothes, white socks, colored socks, and kitchen stuff.

Fine.  I admit it.  It’s a glorified Clean Pile.  But glorified is good, right??

Laundry comes out of the dryer and goes straight into the baskets.  Bypass folding.  Bypass dressers.  Bypass aggravation.

Amazing things happen when you just admit stuff.

Admission: I’m never going to look good in shorts.  Conclusion: Never wear them again.

Admission: I’m never going to fold or put away laundry.  Conclusion: Never do it again.

Granted, the new system isn’t without its flaws.  Namely, we didn’t make a large enough grid.  We thought we could still be responsible to fold towels and sheets and put them away in the linen closet.

Yep.  That’s a bona fide Clean Pile right there.

Or, as I like to call it, a Teach Kids How to Fold Stuff and Put It Away Pile.

Do what I say, kids, not what I do.

Isn’t it the dream of every parent that our children will grow up to be better than we are?

Listen closely, Kids.  If you’re very lucky and you obey your Mommy and you eat all your vegetables, someday you can grow up to fold laundry AND wear shorts.

Here’s to dreaming!