The Wetters of the Alphabet

They’re boys.

They’re twins.

They’re 4.

They pee in the same toilet.

At the same time.

Often.

We went to McDonalds on Saturday.

Cai had to go potty.  Cael thought that sounded fun and asked to come, too.

I wasn’t sure why he thought that sounded fun.

Do you sense the foreshadowing?

We three squeezed into one stall and the cooperative peeing adventures began.

All of a sudden, I noticed arching pee streams straying from the toilet bowl, skittering off the edge of the toilet seat and dripping onto the floor.

“What are you doing?” I screeched intelligently.  “Pee goes in the toilet, not on the floor.”

“But Mom,” my preschool boy Cael announced, “we’re making an X.”

“You’re making an X?”

“Yes.  You know, the letter X?”

Except Cael can’t pronounce his “L’s,” so what he really said was, “Yes.  You know, the wetter X?”

Mm hmm.  I was starting to understand that it was the Wetter X.

“You guys are making letters with your pee?”

“Yep!” they agreed proudly.

So, on behalf of all the Wetters of the Alphabet, I’d like to officially apologize to McDonalds bathroom users everywhere.

I cleaned it up the best I could.  Honest.

This message was brought to you by the letters X and P.

And by the number 1.

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
5 comments
  1. lol, when I was 4, me and my best friend used to make X’s Y’s V’s and a few other letters with our pee

  2. Seriously. You are hilarious. I wish we could meet in real life cause I think we’d be friends. I love your blog, and I love that your boys pee together. Mine are five and a half, and they do, too.

  3. This is hilarious!!! Thanks so much for posting!!!

  4. Soooooooo cute! They are hysterical!

  5. Ok, that is hi-larious!!

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