Not Boring, Always Weird
Feb 21 2011
“Mom!” Abby yelled, indignantly. “Ian called me weird!”
“Yes, Abby. You’re weird,” I replied. “Ian’s weird. I’m weird. We’re all weird in this family. We only let the weirdos in, because normal people are boring. Sorry. It’s something of a family curse. You see, once upon a time, approximately forty years ago, your Papa vowed to your Nana that she’d never be bored. From that point on, we were doomed. Our special contribution to the No Boredom Curse is being a family of weirdos. You’re welcome.”
Some kids have to find out they’re adopted. Adoption’s old news in our house. Instead, we have to break it to them that they’re weird. (Oh, and we had to break it to our twins that they’re not adopted… that was a sad day for them. Who can blame ’em?)
Today was a Weird, Not Boring day.
I got to visit the hospital. As a patient. Oh, woe is me.
I share this for two reasons.
Attention and sympathy. Duh.
I realized that I needed to be a good friend to myself, and I thought you other moms out there might need a friendly reminder to do the same.
It’ll come as a complete surprise to you (because I suffer in silence and haven’t already mentioned this in, oh, the last 4 blog posts) that I’m sick.
Like, deathbed sick.
Like, I’ve never missed this much work ever sick.
Like, my husband is getting sweet, sweet revenge for all the times I’ve said, “Well, when I’m sick I still manage to parent.” (Yeah, I probably had it coming.)
Got that? I’m sick.
It’s respiratory. I was thinking it’s that kind where you wait 2 weeks because it’ll go away all by itself and paying money to have a doctor say “yep, you’re sick” seems financially irresponsible.
In the meantime, I made 2 of my kids see the doctor. I made Greg see the doctor because I told him I didn’t want to wake up next to his cold, dead body, and if I had to spend one more night listening to the wheezing, I was going to drive myself insane with worry. I made my friend Leanne see the doctor because she was coughing for days and eventually you have to acknowledge that you’re just not getting better.
Greg told me to see the doctor. Leanne told me to see the doctor. Other friends told me to see a doctor. I tried to see a doctor on Thursday, but my plans got waylaid when I took one of my kids instead. I made a camp nurse listen to my lungs for free… she said I had “diminished breathing capacity” and told me to see a doctor.
But then I couldn’t breathe, and I kind of freaked myself out.
I still considered not getting medical help, but I then realized that I’m not a very good friend to me some of the time. That’s gotta change. So off I went to the hospital for treatment, medication, and the sincere hope that the incessant posts about illness can end.
There’s nothing better than a personal life-lesson to make me want to preach to others, so I say to you:
Be a good friend to yourself. Talk to yourself and treat yourself the way you’d want a friend to do. Friend up. All the cool kids are doing it.
That’s the Not Boring part of my day. Here’s the…
Try this on for weird.
My children love visiting the dentist and the doctor.
If one of my twins gets to go to the doctor without the other, there is deep and abiding angst. “But I want to go to the doctor! I never get to go to the doctor!” (Actually, you were there three days ago with a weird body rash, but whatever, kid.)
Today, I took 4 kids to the dentist. I would’ve taken 5, except I double-booked my oldest and she was out of town. Oops.
My 4-year-olds were counting sleeps ’til they got to go to the dentist. They were SO excited that the big day finally arrived.
The best part of living close to family is when they serendipitously show up to help. The only thing better than a visit to the dentist is a visit to the dentist when Grandpa stops by.
Clearly, these are two boys who don’t like each other very much. I wish my kids’ grandparents would invest in having meaningful relationships with them.
The only thing better than a visit to the dentist when Grandpa stops by is when he also reads books.
Miss Aden bravely offered to go first to show the boys how it’s done.
That’s my girl.
Cai was next. He was very clear that he was next because he was the most brave.
“Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the triumph over it.” Oh, Cai Cai, my courageous boy.
Cael was equally clear that it wasn’t his lack of bravery that made him willing to have Cai go first…
…it’s just that he thought that Grandpa might want to finish reading him that book. So thoughtful.
Eventually, Cael made his way to the chair.
As confidently as Cai.
Ian perfected his simultaneous gaming/dentistry technique.
For my kid with the sensitive gag reflex (read: voluminous vomiting at the dentist), I was thrilled with this new skill. Yet another surprise in parenting: filled with pride at my son’s love of video games. Who knew?
While my kids were troopers, I must say that the credit for their stellar experience goes to the staff and dentist at Dr. Brecke’s office. Gosh, you just can’t underestimate the value of good peeps. They are unfailingly kind and encouraging, and of course, it doesn’t hurt that they have toys
My kids’ liking-the-dentist weirdness is firmly in tact.
And how does the mom do it? Hospital then dentist’s office?
Caffeine and drugs.
The secret of my success. Caffeine and drugs.
Here’s hoping to dial that back to just caffeine in the very near future.
Keep it weird. Keep it boring.