Regression Is Super

Regression.

It’s SUCH a fun game.

For example, in 2006, I thought I had my 4-year-old daughter potty trained.  Then I gave birth to her baby brothers, which magically gave Miss Aden the ability to pee and poop her pants in 15 seconds flat.

I cajoled.  I threatened.  I rewarded.  I ignored.  I made her help clean it up.

She peed and pooped her pants intermittently for 2 more years.

I’m obviously the Queen of Successful Anti-Regression Training.

In 2011, we’re dealing with mild 4-year-old regression again.

Cai, one of our twin boys, is nighttime potty trained.

Cael couldn’t possibly be less interested in nighttime potty training.  He’s like the Champion of Disinterest.  Or maybe he just really, really likes his Woody and Buzz Lightyear Pullups.  They are pretty nifty.

Recently, Cai decided Cael has a good thing going.

Welcome back, Regression.  Make yourself at home.  Can I get you anything?  Coffee?  Tea?  Double bourbon on the rocks?

Great.  So glad you’re here for a visit.  I hope it’s short.

This time, we’re using Bribery to combat Regression.

This is not a parenting technique recommended in parenting books.  Or maybe it is, and it’s just disguised as Reward.  Or maybe Positive Reinforcement.  Either way, it’s employed by parents the world ’round, and I’m not too proud to use it.

I bribed Cai with cool underwear.

“Cai, if you’ll still wear undies to bed, I’ll buy you some new ones!” Enthusiasm was the key to selling this, and it worked.

I came home this week with Superhero underwear.

Cai was very excited.

Cai and Cael have been playing Superhero lately.  This game seems to be predominantly about putting the word “super” in front of an action or descriptor.

Cai, jumping off the couch to take to the air:  Look, Mom!  I’m Super Fly!

Me:  I know, Baby.  You are super fly.

Cael, zooming his fire truck at super speed:  Look, Mom!  I’m Super Hot!

Me:  Yep, Cael.  Your hottness knows no bounds.

So you can understand why Superhero undies were a huge hit and an excellent bribe, if I do say so myself.

There was much discussion over which pair to wear first.  When Cai finally selected the winner in the 5-pair pack, he announced it by saying, “I’m gonna wear Batman first, Mommy!  Because he has a Super Blow!”

According to the super hero database (which I accessed using Super Google), the ability to generate high lung pressure to create winds is technically called Super Breath.  I explained that to Cai.

I thought it was an important thing for him to know.

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
7 comments
  1. Super hot? Super Fly? Super Blow? Gosh, I thought you were talking about Studio 54 there for a minute.

    OK. I am way to young for a Studio 54 reference, but I am shameless for humor making, as are YOU, which is super obvious by your Incredibly Refreshing and Captivating Point of View and Stunning Writing, which I just discovered this week. Thanks to Crappy Pictures!

  2. Bahahaaa!! Regression has visited our home frequently, and that’s with just 2 kids here! Your supermom skillz are super fly….. 🙂

    1. Ooooh! Nice Z on the skillz! 😉

      Isn’t it funny how Regression feels free to visit all over? It’s like he thinks he’s in Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy territory. The punk.

  3. Super Blow, hahahahaha! 🙂 That’s a classic already if you ask me (you didn’t ask me? really? why not? 😉
    Anyways, nice going on the bribery/rewarding/positive reinforcing. I think YOU’RE super fly, so have yourself a bourbon on the rocks on me!

    1. Thanks, Carina!

      Especially thanks for Positively Reinforcing ME! 😉

  4. ha! yeeeahhh, that seems a good thing to clarify.

    and i’d say you handled your good buddy Regression just right. he’s my buddy too, fyi.

    1. SO glad to know regression makes visits elsewhere… sorry he’s your buddy. Let’s give him the cold shoulder and see if he’ll take the hint and move on. 🙂

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