Smart Phone

I have a new phone.  It’s smart.

I feel like I should be upset when technology is smarter than me.  Like, on the basis of some kind of humans-first principle, I should believe that smart phones are a threat and may take over the world.  A sign of the apocalypse?  Mark of the Beast, anyone?

Instead, I’m just relieved that someone, somewhere is writing software I can use.  Thank you, Someone.  I’ll freak out later, like when they want to implant a smart phone chip in my forehead.  Or when smart phones can be really, truly helpful and babysit, shop for my groceries, and tell me when my wardrobe needs updating.  (FYI, that wardrobe app will simply read “always.”)

My children may not feel thankful for the new phone, however.  Their mom is driving them crazy with the camera part.

Like in the middle of the night when they get up to go potty, and I think their groggy faces are super cute.

So I stalk them in the bathroom and take pictures of them washing their hands with their eyes closed.

And they catch me watching them and think, “Are you freaking kidding me, Mom?  This is what you’re doing with your free time?”

And then, just to be sure they know that it wasn’t a dream and their mommy is always watching, I do the whole process over again in the daylight, catching my son after peeing in the front yard.

Actually, I caught him while he was peeing in the front yard, but there are some things you just can’t put on the internet.  (Don’t you wish I felt that way about more things?)

(Sidenote:  The house across the street there is on the market.  Hmmm… I wonder why it’s not selling?   Surely, it has nothing to do with the neighbors.)

Regardless, my son doesn’t seem terribly put out by his obnoxious mother.

Until I look at the photos and come to an important conclusion.

It is way, way past time for haircuts.

Aw, come on, Cai!  It’ll be fun!

I know I always feel better after a haircut.

Let’s take a cute pre-haircut photo with Cael.

No?

Fine.

Here’s my camera.

Take a picture of me.

Oh, dear.

Am I really that tired?  Are the circles under my eyes that big?

OK, this camera thing is annoying.  Whose idea was it to take pictures, anyway?

However, in the interest of pointing out how very right I am, I offer this evidence:

Getting one’s hair cut…

…really does make one feel better.

Or two, as the case may be.

Makes a mommy with big, baggy eye circles think it’s time for a haircut myself.

This is the power of the Smart Phone to change and shape my world.  Or at least my hair.  Maybe I should be afraid.

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
5 comments
  1. […] keep my phone (the smart one that has a camera) next to me in the bathtub in case there’s a kid emergency.  I am a mother […]

  2. 1. Love your bathroom sink. Very cool. 🙂

    2. Your son could totally be my son. He has the same Target shirt, the Wall-E underwear, and I’m sure he even has those pants somewhere in his closet, AND he pees in the yard every chance he gets.

    1. Hehehe! You even got the Wall-E undies right! And… every boy I know pees in the yard every chance he gets. My 11-year-old asked why he’s not allowed to do that… one of the grown-up boys in our fam said “technically, you’re just not allowed to get caught“… sigh. 😉

  3. I like Mommy with a smart phone! I’ve been meaning to dump some photos from my phone onto the ole’ blog myself. MY weakness is taking pics while they sleep. Now THERE is a creepy Mother.

    P.S. You’re totally cute!!

    1. Thanks, Kristen! You’re such an encourager! Allow me to return the favor… taking sleeping photos = totally not creepy… how’s a mommy to resist sleeping kiddos?? Impossible.

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