Nana Had Surgery, Too

Apr 15 2011

My mom had surgery on Wednesday, too.  The same day as Cai.

I don’t have pictures of her procedure.

I could have had pictures of her procedure.  I understand there are pictures of her procedure.  In fact, I was offered pictures of her procedure.

But I was strong and right, and I refused.

You’ll be glad very, very soon.

Me:  Cael, did you know Nana had surgery today?  Just like Cai!

Cael:  What kind of surgery did Nana have?

I didn’t think this far ahead when I started the conversation.  Since it really isn’t hard to deduce where the conversation would go, this shows how very thoughtful I’m not.

Me:  Well, Cael, Nana had a scope put up her butt.

Cael, more horror-stricken than when he caught his big brother, Ian, playing a brain-eating zombie computer game:  WHY?!

(FYI, I think Cael’s right on the money.  I’d way rather face down a brain-faced zombie than a butt scope.)

Me:  Um, a scope is like a camera that a doctor can put inside our bodies to see if things are OK and good in there.  Like, a doctor can put a scope down our nose or mouth to see if our throat or tummy or lungs are well.  But you know not to put things up your nose or in your butt, right, Cael?

At least that last question shows I’ve gained some wisdom on this parenting journey.

Cael:  Duh, Mom.

(Sidenote: Cael’s 4.  None of my other kids starting duhing me ’til they were at least 6.  Cael’s so advanced.)

Cael, continued:  Soooo, Mom?  That scope that Nana put in her butt will  tell the doctor if the butt is any good?

Me:  Pretty much.

Cael:  What will the doctor do if the butt isn’t good?

Me:  I don’t know, exactly.  I bet there are a lot of things doctors can do for butts, like surgery and medicine.

Cael:  I hope the doctor makes Nana’s butt feel better.

I didn’t say that I doubted Nana’s butt felt better at that particular point in the day, immediately post-butt-scope procedure.  So, kudos to me on keeping my mouth shut!

And, just in case you ever wonder — like I admit I do — whether or not your butt is any good, Dr. Cael has the criteria all figured out.

Cael:  Mom, there’s red poop, green poop and brown poop.  That means there’s three colors of poop.  My poop is all those colors.  And that means I have a good butt.

Good to know, Dr. Cael.  Good to know.

If only you’d thought to tell Nana earlier.  She could’ve avoided that whole butt scope thing in the first place.