The Phases of the Moon

May 10 2011

Cai’s going through a phase.

A phase of the moon, if you will.

At least, I hope it’s a phase.

Dear God, please let it be a phase.  I’d like to add this to my answered prayers column, and I don’t think it’s all that hard for you to grant.  I’m lobbing the ball here, God.  It’s a gimme.  My next prayer request is unlikely to be this easy, so you might want to run with it.

Here’s what’s goin’ on:  Cai won’t go potty without company.

An encouraging audience.

A cloud of witnesses.

Which is a real sacrifice for me.  Because I don’t like being in the bathroom with other people when they’re pottying.

Well, to be fair, I don’t even like being in the bathroom with me when I’m pottying.

In fact, if I could potty by proxy, I’d do it.  Sign me up.

I think Cai’s main potty problem is that he’s a twin.  He’s just not used to do anything… clearly ANYthing at all… by himself.  So he feels bewildered and alone when he’s in the bathroom, no matter how many times I try to convince him it’s a solitary sport.

But, whenever Cai asks, dancing about and squeezing his little cheeks as hard as he can, for guests to join him on his potty adventures, I find myself saying yes.  In fact, I’m blogging on my laptop, perched on the side of the tub this very minute.  To sound effects.  And smell effects.

You’re welcome for that.

I tell myself it’s OK.  It’s OK for me to continue to sit in the bathroom during 4-year-old potty time.  Because of the whole phase thing.

I mean, I really doubt my presence will be requested at a similar event when the child is 14.

Right?  Please say, “right.”

Ten years from now, if we’re wrong and Cai’s still asking, I’m going to be really, really embarrassed.  That, and our counseling bill is going to be out of this world.

On the bright side, I’m pretty sure no one’s gonna steal my laptop, now that y’all know where it’s been.