Give Napping A Chance

I had the crud last weekend.

I don’t know about you, but around here everyone knows that the crud is a cat burglar who ransacks my house, steals my patience and grace, and leaves behind an unreasonable state of mama mind wherein I forget that I actually like my children and that I wouldn’t give them away to the first traveling salesman who offers me a trip to a day spa, a fruity cocktail and a real, breathing, live-in maid named Mercy. ...  read more

How to Catch the Common Cold

Guess what’s fun?

Writing while hopped up on Nyquil!

Who’s with me?

No one?

Fine. I’ll write this myself, then.

I suppose it was inevitable, with five kids at four schools, that I would catch the crud. And, as much as I like to think that I’m realistic and hard as nails the 3-day-old fossilized Cheerios that are probably permanently adhered to my kitchen table, apparently I’m a Pollyanna when it comes to illness. ...  read more

No, I don’t have it figured out. YET.

I don’t know how the two 5-year-olds snuck huge battle sticks (read: tree limbs) into our van without my knowledge.

FYI, I also don’t know how those chunks of granola bar found their way into my undies that one time, either. While I was still wearing them. So I guess life is full of little mysteries.

But anyhoo…

I didn’t know I had two stick-wielders in my van until we were on the road and the battle began. ...  read more

It’s like a 2 hour vacation.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,

Any number of kids is a lot of kids.

But here’s another truth that’s important to share. A truth you will understand if you have any number of children. (Or if you have no number of children and you’re just, you know, conscious and notice stuff.) A truth that stands the test of time. ...  read more

Lent. I give up.

I haven’t participated in Lent for at least 13 years.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I’VE BEEN RAISING KIDS AND I BARELY HAVE TIME TO WASH MYSELF. If Lent is a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for Easter, well:

Basically what I’m saying is, I win at Easter.

Take that, Lent.

But this year, in the most gigantic piece of proof EVER that my kids are getting older, I found myself with, like, 5 minutes to contemplate Lent. And to think that maybe it’s time to participate again. And to ponder what exactly I might give up. ...  read more

On Being Faceful

He said it several times throughout the meeting, the Asian gentlemen with the thick accent. He was earnest and sincere every time.

“It’s about being faceful,” he said. “We must be faceful to do the work we are given.”

I don’t think it’s just because words and writing are my air and water that I latch so tightly to special turns of phrase. I suspect, instead, it’s because I’m human that I recognize that sometimes certain words are oxygen. I breathe them in and they transfer to my blood and pump through my body to power my heart and my mind. ...  read more

The Tooth Fairy Intervention

I think the Tooth Fairy might have a problem.

Now, I’m not saying she’s drinking too much or doing drugs, but there are some warning signs, and I just wouldn’t be a very good friend if I ignore them and assume all’s well. Since you may be friends with the Tooth Fairy, too, I thought we might talk about our experiences and decide together whether we need to intervene. ...  read more