UPDATED: Dear THE Pioneer Woman (with an aside to THE Bloggess)

May 2 2012

Dear THE Pioneer Woman,

I love you.

I hope that wasn’t too forward.

But I love you.

I do.

I love your pies.

I love your cakes.

I love your shrimp tacos with finely shredded cabbage slaw and avocado and cilantro and lime.

I love your pictures.

I love your optimism.

I love your grace.

I love your taste in clothing and in jewelry.

And it matters not that I do not try to emulate you. I am me, and you are you. And my love isn’t less for it.

I read you once every day.

Except on the days that I read you twice.

And on the days that I read you thrice.

But I have one problem.

One teensy, tiny problem.

And it’s NOT YOUR PROBLEM. It’s my problem.

Mine.

It’s really, truly my problem.

And my problem is this.

I can never, ever, EVER remember that you are THE pioneer woman.

The

THE

THE pioneer woman.

And so, once (or twice) (or thrice) every day, I type pioneerwoman.com into my browser, omitting the THE, and I see this:

Because she is, technically, pioneer woman.

BUT, while I’m certain she is a lovely young woman who would no doubt delight in encouraging me to use more butter in my cinnamon rolls, she is not THE pioneer woman.

AND SHE DRIVES ME A LITTLE MORE MAD EVERY DAY.

So there you have it, Ree.

My problem.

Which you are under no obligation to solve. Especially since you’ve so kindly provided me with ways to subscribe to THEpioneerwoman.com via e-mail and RSS feeds and e-readers and, oh, probably one hundred other problem-solving devices.

However, if you’ve ever, perchance, wondered whether you should go ahead and purchase “pioneerwoman.com” so you can reroute little lost internet waifs like me, I’d just like to say, oh dear Ree, please, please, pretty please do consider it for the sake of all of your THE-challenged readers.

Yours pathetically,
Beth

P.S. Jenny Lawson? For whom my adoration runs just as deep? I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for rerouting me, oh, one hundred thousand times from bloggess.com so seamlessly to THEbloggess.com. However, if you ever have to stick Juanita on bloggess.com just to get your point across that OH MY WORD, BETH, THIS REROUTING NONSENSE IS GETTING SO OLD, I want you to know… I understand.

……….

UPDATED: Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, read this post and commented below. Which is going to make blogging from here on out VERY COMPLICATED since I shall now frame my laptop and hang it on my wall.