UPDATED: Dear THE Pioneer Woman (with an aside to THE Bloggess)

Dear THE Pioneer Woman,

I love you.

I hope that wasn’t too forward.

But I love you.

I do.

I love your pies.

I love your cakes.

I love your shrimp tacos with finely shredded cabbage slaw and avocado and cilantro and lime.

I love your pictures.

I love your optimism.

I love your grace.

I love your taste in clothing and in jewelry.

And it matters not that I do not try to emulate you. I am me, and you are you. And my love isn’t less for it.

I read you once every day.

Except on the days that I read you twice.

And on the days that I read you thrice.

But I have one problem.

One teensy, tiny problem.

And it’s NOT YOUR PROBLEM. It’s my problem.

Mine.

It’s really, truly my problem.

And my problem is this.

I can never, ever, EVER remember that you are THE pioneer woman.

The

THE

THE pioneer woman.

And so, once (or twice) (or thrice) every day, I type pioneerwoman.com into my browser, omitting the THE, and I see this:

Because she is, technically, pioneer woman.

BUT, while I’m certain she is a lovely young woman who would no doubt delight in encouraging me to use more butter in my cinnamon rolls, she is not THE pioneer woman.

AND SHE DRIVES ME A LITTLE MORE MAD EVERY DAY.

So there you have it, Ree.

My problem.

Which you are under no obligation to solve. Especially since you’ve so kindly provided me with ways to subscribe to THEpioneerwoman.com via e-mail and RSS feeds and e-readers and, oh, probably one hundred other problem-solving devices.

However, if you’ve ever, perchance, wondered whether you should go ahead and purchase “pioneerwoman.com” so you can reroute little lost internet waifs like me, I’d just like to say, oh dear Ree, please, please, pretty please do consider it for the sake of all of your THE-challenged readers.

Yours pathetically,
Beth

P.S. Jenny Lawson? For whom my adoration runs just as deep? I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for rerouting me, oh, one hundred thousand times from bloggess.com so seamlessly to THEbloggess.com. However, if you ever have to stick Juanita on bloggess.com just to get your point across that OH MY WORD, BETH, THIS REROUTING NONSENSE IS GETTING SO OLD, I want you to know… I understand.

……….

UPDATED: Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, read this post and commented below. Which is going to make blogging from here on out VERY COMPLICATED since I shall now frame my laptop and hang it on my wall.

Next Post
Previous Post

ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
13 comments
  1. I.LOVE.YOU.BETH.

  2. Oh, you all make me feel SO MUCH LESS ALONE. I love you, I do.

    And you all know that now we’re all totally BFF’s with Jenny, right? THAT’S HOW WE’RE TELLING THIS STORY, RIGHT??

    Right. Glad we’re on the same page.

  3. Oh my goodness (OMG for Christians)! I so also love theblogess and I only found her last week. Where have you been all my life? Where have I been? Oh right, raising toddlers. Thank you Beth for enabling my dirty little bloggess (THEblogess) secret.

    1. Beth,

      Just in case you didn’t know, Jenny Lawson is coming to Powell’s on August 15th to do a reading. It would be MOST AWESOME to meet you both at the same time!

      1. Jennifer! I JUST SAW THIS. Did you go to Jenny’s reading?? Was it fantastic? I missed something great, didn’t I? OH, CRAP.

  4. Yeah, writing while standing against the wall is going to be VERY tricky. Thankfully, laptops are like astronaut pens, you can type sideways! 😉
    My website has a “the” in it, too and I cannot wait until the non-the version is up for grabs, since even I forget sometimes! 😉

  5. see, and i’m so lazy that i go to ANOTHER (friend’s) blog and link to pioneer woman off of that. no really. which, now that i think about it, is a lotta work. which kinda makes me the opposite of lazy… i am so rad!

  6. Ha! I do what I can.

  7. Too funny. Same thing here for the longest time with both of these. Until I just gave up and added all my blogs into a reader. Now I probably wouldn’t be able to find anything without it!

  8. Yes, yes, I’ve done this sooo many times! Now, she’s just in my RSS feed, so problem solved… until I go to look up a recipe posted a month ago. 🙂

  9. It’s amazing to see all the variations on the site names…with .com and .net and .everything else, not only do they have to buy pioneerwoman.com, but also pioneerwoman.net, pioneerwoman.org, and probably pioneerwoman.xxx (just to be on the safe side). It also sucks if another business has already taken the other version of your name – our alter-ego is a hideous eBay store.

    I do have to say that it would be awesome to see Juanita like that – more Juanita is always a good thing.

  10. I read Ree and occasionally the Blogess so this makes perfect sense to me… 😉 However, I read no one if they aren’t in my reader because I am lazy like that. And also, my powers of remembering are so completely shot at this point that if it’s not in my reader I’m likely to forget it even exists and therefor not be able to type it in because I don’t know I want to read it!

  11. Oh my gosh! I do the same thing!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *