On Getting My Butt(s) Kicked

I didn’t literally get my butt kicked, although I might know a certain 5-year-old who lives at my house who likes to beat his mama’s cheeks like bongos.

Your butts make beautiful music, Mom. Plus — bonus! — they jiggle wiggle jiggle wiggle.

No, I’m talking more about a figurative butt kicking.

As in, I am pooped, y’all.

Exhausted.

Done.

I am worn every which way including, but not limited to, worn out, worn down and worn through.

I don’t know about you, but the first week of school took his big, steel-toed boot and riffed a butt bongo routine so complex and layered that it’s going to get him nominated for a Grammy. Best new artist! World Tour coming soon to an arena near you.

That’s our back-to-school update in a nutshell. Tired mama. Tired kids. Like all of America. But I’m glad that it’s fall anyway. The exhaustion of changing our routine is worth the payoff of having one again. I will tell myself that until I believe it’s true.

How about you? How’re you doing this second week of September? Updates requested. Please include the number of butts you have. I, apparently, have at least two.

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
4 comments
  1. I’m scared to count how many butts I have (over here we call that ‘ostrich politics’) so I can’t tell you the number, but ballparking it I’d say ‘about 4’ 😉 We’ve been back in school for a month now, so we’re waaaaaaaaay ahead of you guys, except for the fact that the whole family is permanently&indefinitely exhausted…

    1. My kids already think I have two laps ’cause that’s the number of kids I can take at a time… I suppose I NEED the two butts to even out the back. 😉

      Here’s to being indefinitely exhausted. Soldier on, mama! We can do this.

  2. YES! I am loving the routine, and having one in K and one at home. I feel like Superwoman getting stuff done! That being said, the 2nd week is here and my big Kindergartener has STREP! Next week we leave for Hawaii so in the first month she will miss 10 days of school. Mom of the Year is in the bag!

    PS I only have 1 butt so far, it’s still a little early to tell. Happy Fall to everyone!

    1. Heh heh. My girlfriends and I always compete for Mom of the Year. I won the year I forgot my son’s preschool graduations (long story – I blame being pregnant with twins and being generally pathetic. :)), but one girlfriend one for the decade the day she fell asleep, forgot her kid at school, and let her toddler rampage around the house smearing poop on stuff. Ah, the joys of things not going according to plan… at least we end up with grand stories to tell, yes?

      I hope your kindergartener feels MUCH better soon. Have a great time in Hawaii.

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