When is Hugging Time? A Flow Chart for Couples

Greg was really huggy Saturday. I thought it was because I smelled like chocolate chip cookies, but that wasn’t it.

“You’re super huggy today,” I said to Greg.

And he said, “Well, you keep standing still and you’re not glaring, so…” And his “so” was the suggestive “so” like, “Standin’ still, baby, YEAH! It’s business time.”

I told my brother about the hugging, although my reason for doing so escapes me now. It was probably the migraine medicine. That’s what made me stand still and lose the glare in the first place. That stuff has far reaching implications, is what I’m saying; use with caution.

Anyway. I told my brother about all the hugging because that makes sense, and he found Greg’s explanation totally plausible. “You were standing still, Beth?” Jeff asked. I admitted it. “AND not glaring?” he clarified during cross-examination. “Yes, Jeff. That’s an accurate summary.” “Mm hm,” Jeff nodded as though confirming his diagnosis, and then he high-fived Greg with his mind.

Then Jeff made a flow chart to promote better understanding among couples because he has a master’s degree in counseling so he’s qualified to do this kind of thing. In case you’re confused about what leads to hugging, I’m sharing it here with you.

BusinessTimeFlowChart

You’re welcome, friends. I share because I care.

……….

For more on marital bliss, please see these posts:

If at First You Don’t Succeed: a special video presentation
How to Keep Romance Alive (updated with new pics)
and/or
Easy-Peasy FAST Cinnamon Rolls – Greg says he loves me by planning for the Zombie Apocolypse. I say I love him with baked goods that include the word easy. Hey. We all have different love languages, and that’s OK.

Also, this:

……….

P.S. I didn’t write this post while I was on migraine meds. 

P.P.S. I’m lying.

……….

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
21 comments
  1. I admit; I do the same thing to my husband. You referenced “love languages,” so I’m assuming you read the book? Mine is touch. Touch, touch, lots more touch, and did I mention touch? My husband, not so much, but after five years of marriage I’ve gotten him trained (in that aspect, anyway). If he pauses, yep, I’ll hug him. I like hugs, especially his. And while yes, there’s definitely the “I’m interested” aspect, mostly it’s just a way of trying to convey, “I’m here, I’ve got your back no matter what, OH BOY you feel good, you’re warm and soft and comfy, and I’m not going anywhere.” Without having to say all that every time.

    And since I actually expressed to him that to me, touch–even just a quick squeeze of the hand–equals love, he has gone out of his way to accommodate. Actually to the point where if he doesn’t touch me when I walk by, I wonder if he’s upset about something.

    1. I am SO the same way about touch. And I’ve never heard what you’re trying to convey written so wonderfully as you have it. 😀 Lucky for me, though, my husband’s love language is also touch. I think sometimes we make our friends uncomfortable. :-/ We’re never crazy about PDA – in terms of what kind of PDA at least – but we’re usually holding hands or cuddling or hugging or something. Touch touch touch. I start to go crazy without it.

  2. […] When Is Hugging Time? A Flow Chart For Couples […]

  3. Yes! The look like, hey baby, you aren’t scorning me, so….

  4. This is hilarious! And it explains an awful lot. Thanks for the double whammy of entertainment AND education. 🙂

  5. I love these kind of posts that my three-year-old and I can watch together and she thinks those two guys with guitars are just fabulous. So we were both entertained at the same time, kind of like the Muppet Show but with with more socks.

  6. Ha! I know where Greg learned that!

  7. My husband just requested that I print the chat and put it on the fridge, so yeah, it’s pretty much spot on!

  8. I can’t decide whether to share this post with my husband as quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever read, or hide it from him so that he doesn’t get the EXACT wrong impression….
    I’ll probably share AND glare.

    1. Share AND Glare. The perfect motto for this post. 🙂

  9. This is one of my favorite songs ever ever ever. Standing still is SO damn sexy, as is walking, and probably cleaning too. Gosh, where have the standards and romance gone?

  10. Now was it just a coincidence that you posted this on a Wednesday? Because, I mean, there’s nothing good on TV…

    Also, any blog post that references FotC makes me happy. Especially that song. I showed the flow chart to my husband. I expect many more hugs in my future.

  11. Maybe its a generational thing, but I can’t figure out what kind of business is done in dive booties and swim fins. [This isn’t gonna be one of those “TMI” events is it?]

    1. Oh my word that’s awesome!! I can see where she gets it:) I think I love your comments as much as her posts! Love it!

  12. This is why I have perfected the glare.

  13. OH MY GOD, it all makes sense now. ALL THOSE TIMES I thought I was just trying to stand alone for one moment without running around, and he had to get all super huggy! lol.

    My pets do the same thing. hahahha

  14. Ha! I loved this. And that song is one of my favorite episodes. This makes me wonder about MY husband, though…

    (And the Internet porn comment was also hilarious!)

  15. Oh man, my husband is exactly the same way! Thanks for making me laugh!
    I’m a little confused by the chart though… is that business time picture with the computer actually meaning that it’s hugging time or not???

    1. Greg’s a computer guy, so for him that means no hugging and back to work. As opposed to internet porn. So… good clarification, Krista. 😉

      1. Ha ha, that is so not what I meant, but I suppose it could be taken that way! I meant, was it your business on the computer time (blogging), ‘cuz that would be me! 😉

        1. I might still be on migraine meds.

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