Pictures on My Phone: an And Then Story

Jul 22 2013

This in an And Then story.


Here we go.

I was looking through the pictures on my phone because my friend Jody got married this weekend, so Facebook needed updating. Obviously. After all, everyone knows you weren’t really there until you’ve Facebooked it.

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Besides, I had some specific pictures I didn’t want to lose.

Jody let me coordinate her wedding, which is an activity I highly recommend to mamas everywhere. See, when you coordinate a wedding, people listen to you and do what you say. It’s like a miracle. During pictures, for example, you get to say things like, “Come here.” And they come. And, “Stand there for 2 minutes and don’t move.” And they stand still. And, my favorite, “Look at the camera and smile.” And get this — they look at the camera and smile at the same time. I’m still totally high from this experience.

My very favorite part of wedding coordinating, though, is the quiet moment when I’m all alone, hiding from the congregation and watching the bride walk down the aisle toward a new future.

They never look back. Not ever.

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It’s beautiful.

As was the sunlight streaming through the oak grove as Jody and Jeremy pledged their love to each other.

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As were the bride’s toes after all-day outdoor set-up on rehearsal day.

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Heh heh.

Yeah. I knew these pictures were on my phone, so I picked it up and started scrolling, ready to smile and laugh a little.

I wasn’t surprised to see that one of my little punks had swiped my phone for a surreptitious photo shoot, so I rolled my eyes, as usual, at the pics of Cai’s feet and the crap under the seats in our car and the gopher holes that are our lawn.

And I laughed out loud at the kid who snuck around while we were sleeping and snapped Greg sprawled in bed in his boxers. 😀

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And then I kept scrolling ’til I got to the picture of a completely bare butt. A giant picture of a completely bare butt filling the whole screen. 

And then I tracked down the most likely culprit and said, “Dude. Did you take my phone while we were sleeping?”

And then he giggled and said, “Yep.”

And then I said, “And did you take a picture of Dad in his undies?”

And then he giggled and said, “Yep.”

And then I said, “And did you take a picture of a nekked butt?”

And then he covered his mouth in glee and said, “Yep.”

And then I said, “Whose butt is this, man?”

And then he looked at me, surprised, and said, “Yours, Mom. Can’t you tell by how giant it is?”

Bahahaha… ha…  ha… heh?

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It was my butt.

The End



Here are 2 other And Then stories:

  1. Grandma Mabel’s Banana Bread
  2. Teaching Kids Not to Swear


If you have a story detailing why you’re glad you no longer have to send your film in for professional developing — “Hello, Walgreens Photo Guy! Why, yes, that was my bare end. Thanks for asking.” — do tell.

For example, this would be the perfect time for my dad to tell the Tinkerbell story. (That sound you just heard was my dad hitting the under side of the bus. Wheeeee!)