How to Take Back-to-School Photos: A Problem-Solving Scenario

Sep 3 2013

Yes, there are a lot of ideas out there for Back-to-School photos.

Yes, most of them involve some sort of picture frame. And great lighting. And doing more for outfits than saying, “I don’t care what you wear as long as it’s clean. You have the rest of the year to wear dirty, ripped clothes to school. Today is not that day.”

And yes, I suck at these things.

NEVERTHELESS. Here’s a tutorial for How to Take Back-to-School Photos. Because sometimes, despite my best efforts, I have something to offer. WOOHOO!

How to Take Back-to-School Photos
(When Your Brother Tries to Wreck Them) :
A Hypothetical Problem-Solving Scenario for Kids

OK, kids. Here we go.

Let’s say your mom makes you sit on the front porch on the morning of the first day of school because she wants to take your picture. AGAIN.

And then let’s say she casually mentions that you are not getting out of that chair until you give her a smile that approximates something sincere.

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And then let’s say your brother, who thinks he’s funny but SO TOTALLY ISN’T keeps butting in on your picture and prolonging it and, therefore, prolonging your suffering.

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And then let’s say — again, hypothetically — you have a giant stick.

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What would you do?

Now, I’m not looking to solve this for you. And there are clearly lots of answers to this scenario. You know, like using your words to kindly ask your brother to stop. Or, if he won’t listen, asking a grown-up to intervene. But you might want to consider this possibility:

HIT HIM

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REALLY HARD

which will have the obvious result of

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cracking you both up and giving your mom the kind of smiles she was hoping for all along, albeit not facing the camera or in focus, but whatever.

 I mean, sure, sincere smiles are never as good as the classic Pose Any Way You Want photo

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or the Zombie Apocolypse Photo

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but smiles make your mom happy, so nice work, man. Way to problem-solve.

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Your turn! If you have any Back-to-School Photo Fails — or funny ones — send them to me at FiveKidsIsALotOfKids@gmail.com by 10am Pacific Time, Wednesday, September 4th. I’ll put a few favorites online for our collective enjoyment.

Please only send photos to which you own the rights. Optional: include your name, a caption/explanation, and a link to your blog or business or Facebook page or whatever for photo credit.

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