It’s the Part of Winter Break When…

Dec 30 2013

I caught my kid’s puke last night inside the puke bag – all of it except for the chunks that landed on my left hand before they slid with a shake of my wrist into the bag with their buddies.

I don’t know when I started considering puke shots that make it in off the rim worthy of full points, but it was a 2-pointer in my book, for sure. I marked up the stats, credited myself with the assist, and moved quickly down the court to help the rest of my team, because the game doesn’t stop when someone makes or misses a shot. It just keeps going and going and going until someone calls timeout or the buzzer sounds Game Over, except without timeouts and no game ender in sight, ’cause this is Life, not basketball.

My cousin came over the other night and said, “Are you OK? You don’t look OK.” 

I said, “I’m tired.” 

It’s the part of Winter Break when I’m sure I have mono. Or a defunct thyroid. Or a rare blood disease. Or an entire, malevolent alien race harvesting my energy to power their space ships.

So tired.

I’m so, so tired.

I did it, though! I pulled off the logistical side Christmas!

It came with ribbons!
It came with tags!
It came with packages, boxes and bags!

And EVERY SINGLE ONE of my little Whos in our Ville had a gift. Because I did not falter, I did not fail, and I REMEMBERED each of them! Which is a feat worthy of retelling because I have FIVE KIDS, man, plus some extras this year, and I forgot to hand over loot to zero of them. 

Which is, I know, not the point of Christmas at all.

Except when you’re the mama and in charge of These Things. 

And then remembering the packages really is one of the Thousand Points of Christmas, along with the Light in the Darkness and the Birth of the Baby and the Magic in the Mess. Both/And, it turns out. It’s all very Both/And.

photo 1 (67)

But now…

Well, now’s the part of Winter Break when Christmas is over, and we’re hung over on Christmas treats and dragging our feet from a tsunami of rapturous Fun Family Time Together.

We’re swimming in a sea of discarded wrapping paper and drinking the dregs of the peppermint hot chocolate.

photo 3 (52)We’re recovering from surgery and exhaustion and the flu and too much free time. And, by recovering, I mean we are distancing ourselves from those things in time, not that we’re actually showing signs of recovery per se.

I’d write in a cute action phrase here, like **wipes sweat from mama brow**, except I have neither the time nor the motivation to wipe figurative sweat which will reappear in mere seconds. Just like making my bed, brow-wiping is an exercise in futility and thoroughly wasted effort, so I’m opting out.

My children haven’t changed their clothes since Saturday. Or Friday. Or Thursday. I don’t even know. And they’re staring at All the Screens. Every Screen we own. All at once. And I am doing nothing by word or by deed to discourage them. 

I’m under the Winter Break water, friends. It’s true. But I am NOT drowning because I DECLARE I’m not, and I have a thin straw to my lips with which I’m sucking an inadequate amount of oxygen. But OXYGEN nonetheless; I have some! I am upright!

You know, except when I’m flat on the floor, on my face, and done in. 

There is not enough coffee in all the world, friends. Not enough coffee in all the world. 

The End


P.S. There are still 3 more giveaways coming! I think we’re on Day 10 of 7+ Days of Giveaways. Or something. I’ve lost track of this along with my sanity, sense of self and appropriate personal hygiene. I WILL get back to the giveaways soon, though. Probably even this week. And maybe even back to bathing myself. But I must feed my children before I do anything else. They insist on being fed. 

P.P.S. Status report requested. How are YOU doing this Winter Break? Feel free to report Trials or Triumphs — I plan to either feel less alone or live vicariously, depending on your update.