Let’s Play: Stupidest Things We Did This Week! I’ll Go First.

Aug 22 2014

There’s no point to this post at all. It’s everything that’s wrong with the internet. I mean, I don’t tell you what I had for lunch (a 6″ Subway turkey bacon club, no cheese, with spinach, olives, tomatoes, oil, salt and mayo on wheat), but otherwise, it’s really the epitome of nothing useful and far too much disclosure.

For example. I woke up this morning and wondered if I’d really, actually told you at 3am that I drove my car naked in my 20’s. Sure enough. I did. So… you’re welcome for that, Internets. I do what I can for those of us up in the middle of the night. We are a community, folks, and our middle-of-the-nights are like slumber parties! We’re all awake anyway, and there’s always someone at the party who’s willing to say something uncomfortable. That girl is me, friends. I give and I give.

It’s 1:30pm now, and already today is WAY better than yesterday, for 2 specific reasons.

  1. I didn’t take my sleeping medication by mistake this morning like I did yesterday morning. Instead, today I took the meds I’m SUPPOSED to take in the morning. So I’m, like, totally awake and stuff! And not shooting espresso shots like heroin. Which is a big change from yesterday. HUGE. 
  2. photo (87)My middle school daughter is no longer sitting on the couch inside a giant garbage can, which she’s been doing since Wednesday. Just a giant garbage can, pajamaed legs and a surly attitude. “How’s it going, Miss A?” I’d say, and “You doing OK in there?” She’d say, “I’m FINE. I already told you that.” So, you know; my bad. I mean, she’s probably onto something, because if I’m really honest, sitting inside a garbage can – maybe with a book light, a novel and some serious snacks – being ignored by everyone except an annoying mommy every few hours – sounds pretty great. Maybe when my mommy checks on me, I can get her to bring me a beer.

So. Lest I feel dumb alone, let’s play Stupidest Things We Did This Week. I know we’re supposed to be kind to ourselves and stop all this negative talk, but screw that. We do some stupid stuff, y’all; let’s just embrace it.

I showed you mine. What’ve you got?