On Momrades and Waving in the Dark: A Birthday Wish

Oct 13 2015

It’s my birthday, friends.

I’m 42 today.

FORTY TWO YEARS OLD! WOOHOO!

My family has responded by a) mocking me, and b) giving me cheese, which are my two main love languages, so I’m marking this birthday in the win column.

This is my favorite of all the cards from my kids:

It reads,

happy birthday
mom I love you
so much and the
things you you do
for us.

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And then it has drawings of all the things I do for them, along with me complaining about doing them, which is apparently how I do All the Things. While whining. Like a whining whiner who whines. Just to make sure I was interpreting my card, correctly, I asked my kid to demonstrate these things for me, so he schlumped his shoulders in defeat, fixed his face with a scowl and said, “UUUUuuuugghhhhh. THE THINGS I DO FOR THIS FAMILY.” So yep. Yep, I was. I was interpreting it pretty darn accurately.

You know what this means, right?

THIS MEANS THEY REALLY ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME, GUYS. They ARE!

Not only that, but they know how I feel about All the Things. Deep in my heart. Because I ACTUALLY, LITERALLY FEEL LIKE THIS LADY when I pick up my family’s crap:

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Do you see her? DO you? She is bent in HALF, folks. She looks like she is going to BREAK. I feel like this EVERY DAY.

This card and its free Mommy mocking makes my heart happy.

It’s really all the birthday I need.

It’s really all the birthday I need, but I’m going to ask you for something anyway, momrades, and I think you’ll understand.

See, I’m not the only one who turned 42 this week.

Our momrade, Dominique, turned 42 this week, too.

Perfectly imperfect

I met Dom through this blog, and those of you who’ve been here a while, hanging out in this space, may remember her from her honorable mention entry in our Parenting and Imperfection writing contest last year and her story about the facade of a “perfect marriage,” why she walked away, and what it means to raise kids to embrace authenticity, too.

Headshot.pngWell, here’s the deal. On Saturday, September 19, Dominique was having some issues with her memory. By Wednesday, September 23, she was undergoing an all night brain surgery.

Four days, friends; four days is the time Dom, a single mama of two, had from suspecting something might be wrong to being diagnosed with Grade 4 Glioblastoma, an aggressive brain tumor, and now she’s in the fight of her life.

I don’t even know what to say about that, friends. I don’t understand a world where this happens, even as I’m grateful Dom lives in a place where she has access to healthcare and is surrounded by friends and family who undergo the fight with her. But I did think you’d want to know.

I did think you’d want to know so you can wave in the dark to Dominique with me. For my birthday. For hers. For mamaraderie and community and ComeUnity and because you’re our Village.

Other than cheese and mockery (obviously), I can’t imagine anything I’d like more for my birthday than for us to come together for our momrade in need. Would you join me in waving in the dark to Dominique? You can leave her a note in the comments below or, of course, make a small (or large) donation the GoFundMe site to help with her recovery expenses; we all know the compounded power of working together to share not just resources, but Love.

Sending that Love to each and every one of you, and waving in the dark with the belief that the dawn is coming,

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P.S. If you do make a donation to Dom’s GoFundMe page, will you add in your note something along the lines of “waving” or “waving in the dark” or “praying for you, momrade” or something so we can see that you’re there from this Village? I would adore that.