Kitchen REVEAL (A Group Remodeling Project: The FINAL Chapter)

I know. This reveal has taken months. And months and months. Which is a terrible repayment to all of you who weighed in with your placement, design and decorating decisions on parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 67, and 8 of this project. I mean — you’re the people who took us from I Don’t Want to Start My Stove with an Ice Pick Anymore to TODAY. ...  read more

Is This Normal? Some Thoughts on Love. Also, Dogs. Also, Bodies.

I took my rings off the other night.

My wedding ring. My engagement ring. The two stackable rings I wear with them that I bought in a fit of extravagance for $12 at a fancy strip mall with immaculate sidewalks and enormous, Christmas-tree-lit palm trees in Southern California after an hour of agonizing over which to pick.

I took off the twisting ivy ring I bought to remind me that I grow fast and strong and have the power to break down huge barriers, at least eventually. ...  read more

To Tomicka Who Works the Night Shift at the Crowne Plaza

Dear Tomicka Who Works the Night Shift at the Crowne Plaza at the Seattle Airport,

I don’t know how many frantic phone calls you field every night. I don’t know how many of those come from mommies who are too far away from their kids to help them. I don’t know how many times you have to calm them the heck down and tell them not to worry because you’ve got this. I don’t know if this was old hat to you or a first. All I know is, you handled it like a rock star. ...  read more

On Being Mindful. Or on Putting on Clothes. Whichever Comes First.

It’s Greg’s birthday today so I’m seriously considering changing out of the pajamas I’ve worn for 10 days while caring for sick kids (and a sick me), and changing into regular clothes. I mean, it’s mid-afternoon, and I haven’t actually taken anything resembling action to Put on Regular Clothes, but it’s a possibility, is what I’m saying. Also, by “regular clothes,” I mean leggings and a t-shirt. Possibly a bra. If he’s really lucky, I’ll wear my fancy bra; the one that’s not stretched out in the back, and doesn’t have the fine pieces of elastic erratically fraying like they’ve been fried in a horrible electrical accident, and whose underwire isn’t about to snap, making one boob significantly saggier than the other. It is, after all, important in any marriage to keep romance alive! Also, birthdays are special around here. ...  read more

What to Do When the Needs Are ENDLESS

The needs of this world are endless, and I cannot meet every one of them, which I hate. I particularly hate it right now while I watch refugees suffer, and our LGBTQ neighbors suffer, and people of color suffer, and women suffer, and my children with disability suffer, and more, and more, and more. Nearly every day, I resent Magical Jesus for failing to issue me the Wand of Solving Everything or make me Benevolent Queen of the Universe with Awesome Cosmic Power, and then I remember that Magical Jesus isn’t real and didn’t come to issue wands, damn it. ...  read more

My Parents Gave Me Syphilis for Christmas

My parents gave me one of those automatic vacuum cleaners for Christmas.

My sister-in-law got a membership to a wine club.

My brother got $50,000. (Or $50 plus books. Whatever. Same same.)

Greg got a 3D printer.

I got a cleaning implement.

My brother was jealous. He’s a younger brother. It’s what they do best. “SURE,” he said. “I get a money and books, and BETH gets the COOLEST VACUUM EVER. So what do I have to do to get a gift like that? JUST NOT CLEAN MY HOUSE FOR 12 YEARS, LIKE HER?” ...  read more

On Leaving Our Church and Entering the Wilderness of the Unknown

What a weekend. What a week. What a weird, weird world.

Wild.

Weird.

Wonky.

Wonderful, still. Probably. Probably?

But for now, OH MY WORD.

My son has been throwing up since Saturday, and, with the state of the world right now, the state of my country, and the state of my church, that feels wholly appropriate to me. Like his body has offered the only reasonable response to what’s going on. Vomit. ...  read more