On Moving to Belize

Apr 18 2018

Exciting news, friends! Greg and I, along with our kids, are moving to Belize! We don’t have a timeline yet, as we’re just in the initial phases of looking for riverfront property in the Cayo district — probably on the Macal River — but stay tuned for more info.

Also — IMPORTANT — don’t tell Greg yet, please.

I haven’t technically mentioned it to him yet because I’ve learned it takes a while to break news like this to him.

First of all, he has no sense of spontaneity, so as soon as I say, “GREG! EXCITING NEWS,” he won’t wait to hear what it is. He’ll just say no by default, and then when I actually tell him, he’ll begin a litany of Why The Amazing Thing Beth Is Planning Is Impractical, Financially Impossible, and Against The Natural Order. As a result, I’ll need to both craft a slow and subtle way to ease him into this news — my current plan is to manufacture a surprise confrontation while he’s pooping so he can’t escape — and also prepare My Defense so when he says, “The kids have to finish school, Beth,” I can say, “There are schools in Belize, Greg, OR our kids could drop out of school and become billionaires like Richard Branson, or awarding-winning directors like Quentin Tarantino, or rappers-turned-entrepreneurs like JayZ.” I feel like that logic is infallible.

Secondly, Greg tends not to believe me when I make Exciting New Plans for our lives, so I’m going to have to invent a way to ensure he knows I Really Mean It This Time. See, THIS is why it’s dangerous to get someone a fake miniature horse instead of a REAL miniature horse; I SHOULD’VE FOLLOWED THROUGH ON THE HORSE, y’all. I KNEW I should’ve followed through on the horse. If I’d followed through on the horse, he’d know I mean it about Belize. So, you know, if you have any suggestions for convincing him I’m serious, LMK, K?

That’s really all I’ve got for now. I’ve been radio silent around here for a couple weeks because I’ve been on a homeschooling road trip with the youngest two, and now I’m visiting the oldest at college. I think I had a day and a half at home in between the two (five kids’ needs is a lot of kids’ needs, friends), and so I spent it wisely — researching real estate in Belize. 

More soon.

Love to you all,

 

 

 

P.S. Abby and I are busy creating new twinsie pics for you.

Because we care. 

 

Help Settle an Argument…

Apr 4 2018

OK — help me resolve a tiny family squabble…

My parents’ 47th wedding anniversary was yesterday, and I shared my congratulations on Facebook along with the observation that that’s a LOT of years not to smother each other with a pillow.

My dad says I’m recycling that line because I’ve used it before.

*I* say, YES, I’ve said it before, but it’s a UNIVERSAL TRUTH, and universal truths ought not be categorized as “recycling.”

I mean, really; do people accuse Jesus of recycling “love your neighbor as yourself” just because he says and/or implies it a lot?

Do people accuse others of recycling Ghandi just because “be the change you wish to see in the world” shows up everywhere?

Do good readers accuse St. Anne Lamott of recycling “You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do?”

No. No, they do not. You know why? Because Universal Truths must be reused and repeated. They stand the test of time. They DESERVE to be reiterated so we can wrest every grain of wisdom from them. 

In the same way, “Happy Anniversary! That’s a lot of years not to smother each other with a pillow” is a universal fact beyond time and place, the very definition of a Universal or Absolute Truth.

I mean, I don’t want to pat myself on the back too, TOO much here, but I do want you to feel free to let my father know his daughter is a wise philosopher whose observations and salutations should be revered as such.

Thanks, friends. I knew I could count on you.

Sincerely,