Dear the Internets,
This is a true story.
This is my true story.
I lay down my dignity for you, because I love you very much.
Once upon a time, I pooped my closet.
I was pregnant.
Approximately 100 years pregnant with twins, judging by my size, but really only 7 months or so, which made me roughly larger than a semi-truck and smaller than the Empire State building. Big, in other words, especially since I started the pregnancy “fluffy” according to a nurse who was kind and wonderful and didn’t call me chubby to my face for which I will always love her something fierce. ...