When I was a child, my mother had the most irritating habit of ending any competition between my brother and me by exclaiming enthusiastically, “You’re both winners!” Jeff and I are intensely competitive, even now – perhaps because we could never settle who’d won anything.
Parenting is often a series of extremes, picking and choosing which things our own parents did that we embrace and which things they did that we patently reject. We tease my mom all the time about her “two winners” philosophy, but, still…
I reject the notion of two winners.
Aden, age 8, recently informed me that she’ll be marrying her brother Ian, age 10, when they grow up.
I told her this isn’t a good idea.
“Do you know why, Aden? Why is it a bad idea to marry Ian?”
After some time to consider, Aden replied, “Because he’s mean and he has a girlfriend.”
I was going to go with the whole incest thing.
But her focus on non-abuse and faithfulness has merit.
So, as much as I hate to give in, Mom, I’ll suck it up and say it.
Aden, we’re both winners.