beth woolsey

mess maker • magic finder • rule breaker • kindness monger


You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

Well, you can bring my family a lovely home-cooked dinner but you can’t make ’em stop eating hotdogs on the counter.

I didn’t even notice the counter-eating ’til the hotdog was almost gone.  (I wrote that so you’d think that I don’t normally allow counter-eating at my house.  Did it work?)

This is how family dinner time has devolved over the past couple of weeks.  I take it as evidence that it’s time for this mama to get better.

Which is why Codeine and I had a heart-to-heart a few days ago.

“Codeine, you’ve had a special place in my life… gosh, this is really awkward.  It’s not you.  It’s me.  I know you thought the relationship was headed one way, and this is abrupt, but I feel like we’re not that good for each other.”

I explained that I belong to the wide-awake, non-drowsy world.  Codeine packed up his things, tore up a few photos of us together, and, when he calmed down, I gave him a ride to the medicine cabinet.  He’s called a few times in the middle of the night, but I haven’t picked up.

I feel like I should update my relationship status on Facebook.

Unfortunately, I’m still in an unfulfilling relationship with some steroids.

The steroids overheard my “let’s just be friends” speech with Codeine, and decided that if wide-awake and non-drowsy are what I want, they are here to give it to me.  They’re like partying college students who have an empty house and a LOT of friends.  I have loads and loads of legal energy, an insatiable desire to sleep, and and not enough air in my lungs to do anything.

I can’t wait to call the cops on the steroids, but I’m gonna have to wait a few days to break up their party.  The doctor says I still need them.  In the meantime, I’ll just sit in the corner and shake.  And watch my kids eat hot dogs on the counter.  And post material that I’ll undoubtedly question later.

Speaking of shaking, sometimes the only way to truly express oneself is through the magic of song and dance.

Here’s Cael, with his cousin as backup dancer, showing how I feel:

Actually, that’s from the Superbowl last month.  Yeah, I know it had nothing to do with the rest of this post, but it just makes me smile.  And sometimes, we all need one of those.

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6 responses to “Recovery”

  1. So there’s no video of you doing that dance then? Or there is one, but you just won’t show it to us? Either way, I’ll probably start a petition for a viewing anyways… 😉 Love Cael’s moves by the way! Do you have the show ‘So you think you can dance?’ in the USA? He should totally be on it in about ten years! (yes, that is a compliment, I don’t think there’s a Simon Cowell-wannabe putting people down on that show 🙂

  2. I would actually give my right hand to see a video of you doing that!

    I loved your heart to heart with Codeine. Very heartfelt and sincere.

    • Ha! And I’d give my right hand to NEVER be caught on video doing that. 🙂 Besides, Cael has the white-kid dance down… I’d hate to show him up. 😉

      Since you had to walk me through those college romances, you’d know about the sincerity of the heart-to-heart talks, yes? Yes! And thanks for holding my hand… those were the days.


  3. I feel bad, I am sure I missed something while deleting email in my in box while on vacation – but there is more to this story and I will have to now go look through your posts to see what you have been going through. Sorry to have missed it and not been praying for you – I will start now 🙂 And, yes…..sometimes you do just need to smile!

    • I love retroactive prayers! I’ll take ’em any way I can get ’em, and I have a sneaking suspicion God doesn’t care about the timeline. 😉 Thanks, Susan… I hope you had a lovely vacation!


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