You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

Well, you can bring my family a lovely home-cooked dinner but you can’t make ’em stop eating hotdogs on the counter.

I didn’t even notice the counter-eating ’til the hotdog was almost gone.  (I wrote that so you’d think that I don’t normally allow counter-eating at my house.  Did it work?)

This is how family dinner time has devolved over the past couple of weeks.  I take it as evidence that it’s time for this mama to get better.

Which is why Codeine and I had a heart-to-heart a few days ago.

“Codeine, you’ve had a special place in my life… gosh, this is really awkward.  It’s not you.  It’s me.  I know you thought the relationship was headed one way, and this is abrupt, but I feel like we’re not that good for each other.”

I explained that I belong to the wide-awake, non-drowsy world.  Codeine packed up his things, tore up a few photos of us together, and, when he calmed down, I gave him a ride to the medicine cabinet.  He’s called a few times in the middle of the night, but I haven’t picked up.

I feel like I should update my relationship status on Facebook.

Unfortunately, I’m still in an unfulfilling relationship with some steroids.

The steroids overheard my “let’s just be friends” speech with Codeine, and decided that if wide-awake and non-drowsy are what I want, they are here to give it to me.  They’re like partying college students who have an empty house and a LOT of friends.  I have loads and loads of legal energy, an insatiable desire to sleep, and and not enough air in my lungs to do anything.

I can’t wait to call the cops on the steroids, but I’m gonna have to wait a few days to break up their party.  The doctor says I still need them.  In the meantime, I’ll just sit in the corner and shake.  And watch my kids eat hot dogs on the counter.  And post material that I’ll undoubtedly question later.

Speaking of shaking, sometimes the only way to truly express oneself is through the magic of song and dance.

Here’s Cael, with his cousin as backup dancer, showing how I feel:

Actually, that’s from the Superbowl last month.  Yeah, I know it had nothing to do with the rest of this post, but it just makes me smile.  And sometimes, we all need one of those.