Recently, a friend talked about feeling like she’s stuck in a rut.

She didn’t meet last year’s business goals.  All the signs that had pointed her in a specific direction turned into dead ends.  The future of her business was in question, and she didn’t have next steps to take.

It wasn’t so much a rut for her as a big, huge, stuck-in-the-middle-of-the-wilderness, can’t-believe-there-are-no-road-signs, where’s-God pothole.

Then another friend talked about how sometimes it’s all about your perspective.  “If you look at it from a different angle,” he said, “a rut is just a very wide groove.”

Gosh, I liked that.

Stuck in a rut?  Or are you in a groove?

I thought about how hard my friend was on herself.  She was in a room surrounded by people who believed in her, who trusted in her capacity to excel, who eagerly anticipated the next steps that they were sure would emerge soon.

But often our harshest critics are ourselves.

I thought about my ruts and grooves, and I wondered whether I have the perspective and the understanding to love myself through them.

I tend to be the drum major of my own harshest critic marching band.  I think about my fears and limitations.  But I’m pretty sure I’d rather be head cheerleader in an “I Can Do It!” rally, instead.

I thought about my dreams and goals.  Currently, they are:  To be a loving mom.  To be a kind wife.  To have a healthy body and an active life.  To write.

Oh, sure, I know those are too broad as far as goals go.

I have specific, measurable goals, too.  When I find time to specify them.  And measure them.  And remember them.  And achieve them.  Or just say “forget it” and cross them off the list — the list I often can’t find.

But as far as general aspiration goes, the LovingMomKindWifeHealthyLifeWriter dream tops today’s list.

The beautiful and strange part of that dream is that it’s not really achievable.  I mean, I can’t definitively claim to have accomplished any one part of it.  Not in a final and complete, “Phew!  Finished that one!” kind of way.

I find, instead, that every day is a series of steps.  Some are along the groovy path I intend.  Some, well, aren’t.

For today, I choose the groove.