A Brief Update

A Brief Update

And, by brief, I mean briefs.  As in undies.

Yes, I’m that punny.  Butt it’s not my fault.  I married into puns, and no one told me at the time that they’re contagious.  You may not feel the effects for 10 or more years.  Butt then, all of a sudden, puns just start falling out of your mouth.

Even worse, my husband’s puns make me smile.  Not without some serious eye-rolling, but I can feel genuine amusement lurking just beneath the surface, and I know it’s only a matter of time before I laugh out loud.

Be careful.  It can happen to you.

Anyhoo…

Back to the Brief Update

Remember when Ian went to camp?  And I spent the week planning the memorial service for the only two pairs of undies he would undoubtedly wear and rewear and rewear for the duration of the week?

Well, I wanted you to know that I was wrong.

That shampoo bottle we sent?  Some of the contents were missing when he got home! It’s true!  Either that shampoo spilled, or… get this!… he used some!

When I saw my 11-year-old baby after camp, I gave him a big hug and kiss. (Yep – even knowing his previous camp-bathing history.  I’m brave that way.)  And the first voluntary words out of his mouth… right after I made him tell me that he missed me SO much (which he graciously and sincerely mumbled under his breath ’cause I had him in a headlock)… were, “Mom!  Guess what?  I took THREE showers.  It’s a new record!”

Indeed, it is!

We didn’t have to put a single pair of boy panties out of their misery when Ian’s week at camp was over, and there were at least four pairs in his dirty clothes bag.  There may have been more, but my “tear the bag and dump the clothes as fast as humanly possible” approach to washing camp clothes prevented a more thorough count.

My baby’s growing up.

I was proud.  I was tearful.  (I wasn’t really tearful.  That would be weird.)

So I did what any mom in my situation would do.  I wrote his school teachers to tell them.

Doesn’t everyone tell their kids’ teachers how much and often and well they bathe?  No?  Huh.  Maybe I should think about that.

It’s just that I like Ian’s teachers.  And, well, they brave a classroom full of prepubescent non-bathers EVERY DAY of their careers.  If I can give just a teeny, tiny bit of hope to the brave women on the front lines of public school education, am I not obligated to do so?

Property taxes, voting yes on school bond measures, and e-mailing teachers about bathing success stories… it’s important that we do our part and work together.

FYI, Ian’s teachers reported back that, due to his amazing and unprecedented showering success, “he can be the role model for his cabin mates at Outdoor School!”

My son, a peer role model!

Woo to the Hoo!

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
2 comments
  1. Gabe goes to camp tomorrow. I am packing each day’s clothes (including underwear) in separate zip-lock bags. I am hoping this works. Last year his counselor bought him some socks because Gabe told him he didn’t have any. As much as I enjoyed having a brand new bag o’ socks, when I un-packed his suitcase-sure enough the extra 3 prs. of socks were right there, still clean, still paired.
    As for showers? The pool counts, right?

  2. Awesome! And hey, when he’s about 15 and a junior counselor he won’t be the one the older counselors are forcing into the shower and then stealing his clothes to wash them! (no, this never happened to me, why?).

    And I’m only 6 years in on the pun thing… you mean it wears off? I’m doomed. 😛

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