For our 17th wedding anniversary this weekend, I’m taking the kids and leaving my husband.

Happy Anniversary, Greg!

Well, I’m not taking all the kids. I mean, five kids is a LOT of kids. So I’m just taking three. In particular, I’m taking the three kids who don’t have a) dance commitments or b) an ongoing distaste for travel and anything spontaneous and who would rather have his eyes poked out with a hot chicken nugget than to disrupt his regular routine.

And, by leaving, I mean just for the weekend.

Sorry, Greg; one weekend was all I could swing. But, still, you get a whole weekend with way less chaos, so…

Happy Anniversary!

Yeah, yeah. I know some people celebrate their wedding anniversary together. I even know some who do it every year. But Greg and I didn’t plan our wedding date wisely. We were young, and we thought a mid-winter wedding would be romantic. Pristine. Quiet. Magical. Like the newly fallen snow. Or the brush of an angel’s wing.

I had visions of anniversary weekends, hidden away in a cabin in the snowy mountains. A roaring fire in the fireplace. Mugs of hot buttered rum. A good book. And an even better reason to avoid reading that good book. You know, the usual things a 21-year-old considers when she’s planning her January wedding.

Instead, by the time January 14th rolls around, we’re exhausted because, in addition to all the usual holidays and school breaks from mid-October through mid-January, we also celebrate 5 out of our 7 family birthdays. It’s just enough “extra” to tip us over the edge from mustering enough energy to go out to dinner to “please, please, pretty please say we don’t have to plan something else.”

In other words, we’re pathetic.

And the older we get, the less we care that we’re pathetic.

These days, we’re downright apathetic about our patheticness. Which feels like a whole new level of nirvana.

But this year, my three littles were invited to visit their good friend Spencer in ALASKA for the weekend! Add in a generous benefactor who’s covering most of the airfare (thank you, generous benefactor!), a husband who’s not unhappy (read: ecstatic) about getting some of his “to do” done, and a mama who’s more than a little batty… and off we go.

Child-bride Me is shaking her head in disappointment right now. She can’t believe it’s come to this. It should be law that wedded people spend their anniversary together in, well, blissy weddedness. But 38-year-old, Rule-Mocking Me counters with, “Yeah, but it’s ALASKA in the WINTER. So, ha! Take THAT.”

And who DOESN’T want to visit Alaska in the dead of winter?

No one. That’s who. No one doesn’t want to visit Alaska when there’s 6 hours of daylight, subfreezing temperatures and thousands of giant, killer moose on the loose.

I probably made up the thing about the moose. Except that if I see a moose – killer or complacent – I’m slowly backing out of the room ’cause those things are scary.

FYI, I’m pretty sure I should work for the Alaska Tourist Board. Double negatives are all the rage in state slogans these days. Do NOT be surprised when you see their new tourism campaign:

Who DOESN’T want to visit Alaska in the dead of winter?
No one. That’s who!

I’m telling you. It’s sure to be a winner.

……….

Happy Anniversary, Greg! Thanks for coming along on this crazy ride. Or not coming along, as the case may be. Either way, I’m glad you’re on Team Magic & Chaos.

I love you.
B