On Hiding in the Bathroom and The Unshakable Faith of Children

Sometimes my children have more faith in me than I have in myself.

It’s one of the gifts – and unique pressures – of having children. Like friends, children insist on believing in you.

At least until they reach the age of disillusionment, I am capable of all things.

I am magical.

I, after all, have direct access to God and Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the Internet.

Which is why the bathroom is such an important place. A sacred space. A Mommy base.

Here, on the floor that’s sticky with hair spray and boy spray, I hide from the pressure of omniscience because all the bacteria know me for who I truly am – a fallible, broken creature who’s not above crying in the shower.

In my oasis, the knocking is incessant and accompanied by The Moms.

You know The Moms, right? They’re a vocal exercise of increasing frequency, volume and repetition.

“Mom.”

“Mom?”

“MOM?!”

“MomMOM!”

“MOM! Mom. MOM! Mom.”

And on and on and on. Like the Ha Ha game with Ha’s that go on forever until someone breaks. (The breaker is usually me, FYI; my children have amazing stamina.)

But in the midst of The Moms this time, I hear a new sound. An advocate in the voice of my oldest child as she hollers, “Stop bothering Mom! Just let her go to the bathroom. It’s not like she’s going to stay in there forever, you know.

Which brings me back to this…

Sometimes my children have more faith in me than I have in myself.

Which just might give me enough courage to come out this bathroom.

 

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
16 comments
  1. This post made me cry

  2. My kids are faithful “Mom”-ers. Which is vaguely annoying, but I figure if their sad little fingers are feeling around for me under the door, they’re NOT playing with knives/climbing on the tv table/emptying bags of off-brand Cheerios onto the carpet. That might sound a little Machiavellian, but all’s fair in love and bathroom time, right? I do always come out…eventually.

  3. the bathroom kit is so brilliant!!

  4. hilarious! It is nice to know that kids at SOME point realize that you eventually will come out. My kids still sob at the door thinking I might be gone forever. Which I might be some day… 😉

    1. Oh my gosh, Caitlin – this TOTALLY makes me think of my bathroom as Narnia. Now what would be good on the other side?… a spa, a BATH (you’d think that would already be in my bathroom, but my lack of personal hygiene tells me otherwise), a nice restaurant, an ocean view, a masseuse… this is a fun game. 😀

  5. Life was so much easier when I didn’t have to worry about them seeing me naked.

    1. Right, Ann? I feel like my bathrobe should get exercise credit since I give it such a workout these days.

  6. My little bathroom is my sanctuary.
    Rock on that your daughter has so much faith in you, and that she is willing to share her faith with her siblings!

  7. Oh man, I cringed at this: “Here, on the floor that’s sticky with hair spray and boy spray,”
    eeeeeewwwww.

    Can we all just imagine a group of moms cheering us on *every* time we choose to leave the bathroom? That might make it a lot easier!

    1. Hehehe on the “ew,” Kristi. You’re welcome. 😉

      And, yes, I do think a crowd of cheering moms is a fantastic idea! Perhaps if they also were throwing chocolate?

  8. I can so relate, and as such… you might be interested in this little bathroom survival kit I put together. ( ;
    http://www.creativefamilymoments.com/summer-survival-kit-parents-edition/

    1. Ha! Heather – that’s an awesome survival kit. Approved! 😉 Thanks for sharing your link.

    2. Brilliant. would make a great baby shower gift to keep for later

  9. Thanks for the very kind message, Kristen! I hear on “To Shut The Door, Or NOT To Shut The Door.” I can’t even tell you how many showers I took with the *shower* door wide open and my twins crawling all over the bathroom floor. It was messy. But an oddly fun memory to think of the things I did as a mama of very young ones to keep them close to the Mama Bear. We do what we must, yes?

    I did, in fact, leave the bathroom. Go, me! 🙂 And thanks for the sweet encouragement. We all need a crowd of mamas cheering us on, and I do hope always that other mamas find that here.

    xoxo

  10. When using the bathroom while being the only adult at Home, I’m always torn between shutting the door for some peace (my kids haven’t learned The Moms yet) and leaving it open and having every animal and child follow me into the bathroom. After all, if they’re all in there with me, I can ensure they’re not finding trouble.

    Hopefully you found the courage to come out of the bathroom! You seem to be a wonderful mama who loves her kids and tries her best. And there’s nothing wrong with crying in the shower! Keep up the good work mama!

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