UPDATED: The wench is missing.

Cai told me last night that Daddy’s wench is missing.

“Mommy?” Cai said. “Mah-mee. MommyMomMomMommyMom!”

“Yes, Cai?” I replied absentmindedly, eyes affixed to the seventeenth Stephanie Plum novel and rather not paying the kind of attention I should’ve been paying to my preschooler.

“Daddy lost his wench.”

I started paying attention.

“Daddy lost his wench,” Cai said, “and he’s very sad.”

Cai stood solemnly, pondering his father’s loss. We locked eyes, and I nodded sympathetically.

“Losing a wench sounds like a terrible thing, Cai Cai.”

“Yes, Mommy. It is. Daddy says he needs the wench sometimes to fix his plumbing. Daddy says a wench can fix a wot of things, and we need to be very careful about keeping wenches where we can find them. Daddy says we have to put the wenches right back in their place as soon as we’re done playing with them, so they don’t get lost.”

I really don’t…

That is, I…

I’m not sure what to…

I guess there’s nothing else to say, really.

I suppose I just wanted someone to know.



I posted a link to this post on Greg’s Facebook wall because I’m a loving wife and I think nothing says Loving Wifery like publicly announcing that my husband’s wench is missing.

Greg replied: Fortunately I find new ones all the time. I don’t care if they are well used already, they still get the job done.

And then my dad replied: Knowing him as I do I’m certain Greg didn’t lose it gamboling. Likely it is just miss-laid. And he must get his relaxed attitude from his Dad who has bragged to me for *years* about finding wayward ones in the back seats of cars.

And then Greg’s dad replied: Yes, and I found several just yesterday behind the seat of a Dodge pickup. Even better, I told Greg about the great find BEFORE I knew his wench had moved on!

These are the men in my life.

Who are examples to my sons.

And I love them

The end.


P.S. The comments below…. baha!

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10 responses to “UPDATED: The wench is missing.”

  1. **snort** **snigger** (trying to get control). Awww, forget it!! This is just tooo funny!!! and you kept a straight face?? Through the whole thing?? I think you deserve an awesome wewawd!! I’ll give it to you as soon as my wench returns.

  2. I, for one, am so glad that you have such a gift for hearing your children’s unintended puns! I think I have an auto-editor in my brain that translates all their misconstrued syllables into something more intelligible. Clearly, I need to start paying better attention!
    Thanks for yet another good laugh!

  3. I found my husband’s wench in the kitchen this morning. The KITCHEN of all places! I put it in it’s place right away, I tell ya!

    (Good luck finding a new wench, Greg. I hear it’s hard to find a good one.)

  4. The things that kids mispronounce… we’ve had some doozies around here too and I can’t wait for more as Noah is horrid at pronunciation!

  5. Not really a big deal…it’s easy to just buy a new wench, they’re available anywhere for just a few dollars. You could even have a few replacement wenches in case another one gets lost.
    In fact, I’m surprised your husband has only one wench. I have several, because different situations require different types of wenches.

  6. My husband lost his wench long ago, too. I never actually helped him look for it, since as his wife, I felt like he should probably take care of those needs himself.
    Hopefully your husband will come to the same conclusion.
    I just hope that Cai never suffers the same loss.

  7. I very, very much hope that the wench appears soon, safe and well and in one piece and still able to fix a wot of things. The woss of a wench is a dweadful occuwence.

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