Let’s Play Good News / Bad News

Those of you who hang out with me on Facebook know that we occasionally play Good News / Bad News.

In addition to chatting with you about trips to the zoo, otter penises and endearing biker dudes, playing Good News / Bad News is one of my favorite Facebook games. But today I thought, Hey! Not all of you are on Facebook. Let’s play on the blog.

So that’s what we’re gonna do.

Here’s how it works.

I tell you my Good News / Bad News story. Like, for example:

Bad news – someone just wet my bed
Good news – that someone was not me
Bad news – it was my side of the bed. again.
Good news – the towel from when this kiddo wet my bed last week was still under the sheet to soak up most of the mess

Greg asked me if that wet bed/towel situation is a Glass Half Full thing or a Glass Half Empty thing. I think we can all agree that the kid DRANK THE WHOLE DANG GLASS AND PEED IT ALL OUT and that Greg’s question is moot. Can’t we?

And then you tell me your Good News / Bad News story. Like when Kimi wrote:

Bad news – the baby pooped in her diaper
Good news – I had a sixth sense about it, and swindled Daddy into changing it
Bad news – because Daddy changed it, he left it sitting on the table within her reach, still open; she picked it up, pretended it was a telephone and put it to her ear

Or like when Fiona wrote:

Bad news: I got up at 5.30am with an inexplicably well-rested and perky three-year-old.
Good news: The sun is already shining – NO MORE RAIN!
Bad news: I was forced to watch the utterly dreadful movie “Thomas and the Magic Railroad” at 5.30am.
Good news: As a result, I now know what Frenchy from Grease did next in her acting career.

See how that works?

It’s such a great game.

Ready to play?

OK.

I’ll go first.

Bad news: I didn’t have a tissue yesterday we were at the zoo and Cai’s nose erupted in yellow goo that easily traversed his lips and climbed down past his chin and hung precariously over his white t-shirt, ready to jump.

Good news: I’ve been doing this mama gig for a while, and I think fast. I had his socks off in record time and managed to catch the giant booger before it slimed the shirt.

Bad news: Two other mamas witnessed my efforts. One gagged.

Good news: The other mama applauded.

Bad news: I forgot that I put the snot sock in my purse.

Other bad news: I needed my chapstick soon thereafter, and I reached blindly into my bag.

Great news: Snot dries super fast, so I mostly hit booger crystals and not so much goo. Whew!

So I guess now we all know how disease spreads so quickly at my house, yes?

Yes.

Your turn!

What’ve you got in the Good News / Bad News department?

Can’t wait to read your stories!

B

 

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
26 comments
  1. How do you play when you’re both excited and terrified at the same time? Good news: My car was full of baby gear. Bad news: My car was full of baby gear. Good news: We passed our home inpection. Bad news: We passed our home inspection. Good news: We could have 5 kids in two weeks. Bad news: We could have 5 kids in two weeks. Sheesh! Of course, it could take time too – there’s no knowing when you’re going to get the call once you’re certified.

    1. I love this, Christine. SO TRUE. How many of us could play Good News / Bad News with the same things?? CONGRATULATIONS on passing your home inspection. I know you’ve been waiting and cleaning and hoping and praying and waiting. WOOHOO! So very proud of and excited for you. This is going to be a wild and worthy ride. Sending much love and x’s and o’s.

  2. Wow, ladies. All I can say it WOW. We are rocking this Mom gig and all of you totally made my “nap time” break. ( :

    1. Thanks, Janie! I shared this on Facebook… there’s power in sharing stories, isn’t there? We are not alone!

  3. Here’s one from a friend:
    Fortunately, if I leave the doors open, it cools off at night.
    Unfortunately, we don’t have screens on the doors, so a lot of flies get in.
    Fortunately, Mason loves to kill flies.
    Unfortunately, he gets quite enthusiastic about it!
    Fortunately, he hits a lot of them.
    Unfortunately he doesn’t clean up the mess!
    Fortunately, it’s still better to see 30 or 40 dead flies all over the kitchen, than 30 or 40 live flies buzzing around the kitchen.

  4. Since reading this, I have found it very helpful to think of the daily calamities of my life in terms of good news/bad news. But why do all siad calamities have to involve excrement? For instance: Good news: My 2 yr old son is potty training. Bad news: He still has quite a few accidents. Good news: He is tiny enough (18lbs) that when the accidents occur he can easily be lifted by the armpits and be carried at arms length to be cleaned up. Bad news: He tends to have frequent poo accidents as he did Friday morning. Good news: The poo was nicely formed into a turd, rather than the diarrhea he had been having. Bad news: When picked up to go clean up, the nicely formed turd easily fell out of the gaping leg hole and bounced off the side of the tv before landing on the floor. Good news: I have wood floors, plenty of cleaners, and the turd was formed making it easy to clean up.

    Or this morning-Good news: My newborn son is a relatively good eater, and burps relatively easily. Bad news: This makes it easy to put him down too soon after eating if he has burped, but has another hiding. Good news: he usually can be put down in a rush, like this morning when I had to quickly put him down to go clean up another undies poo mess from the 2 year old. Bad news: I put the newborn down too soon, and while cleaning up boy #1, he spit up a large amount, soaking his outfit, hair, and bed. Good news: He likes baths and I had been meaning to change his bedding anyway. Bad news: A clean baby and clean bed ensure that the next diaper change be full of poo, and that the baby will pee in that 0.5 seconds he is uncovered while swapping out diapers. Good news: Being male, the pee arched over his head, missing he and his jammies. Bad news: The pee, while missing baby completely, instead soaked his freshly made bed. Good news: I had done all the laundry and had none to do as of this morning. Bad news: Between the two boys, it now looks like I haven’t done laundry in a week.

    I do now know the definition of futility.

    1. Oh, and I didn’t know about the turd that jumped ship until I got the child upstairs to clean hip up and realized the turd was AWOL. This prompted a very cautious retracing of steps until I luckily found it. I was afraid one of the dogs had already found it and ate it so I would have no idea where to clean.

      1. I might have laughed so hard at the AWOL poopie that I peed in my pants.

        Good news: if I did, I don’t have to admit it.

        🙂

        So funny, Shannon. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Bad News : The tooth fairy forgot to come Wednesday night.
    Good News : It’s not the first time, so we cut her some slack.
    Bad News : Someone in our neighborhood woke us up (the adult us, not the kid us) with squealing tires at 4:00 a.m. this morning.
    Good News : The tooth fairy is oportunistic…..

    1. Man! That Tooth Fairy! We’ve commiserated on this before. I’ve written about her MANY, EPIC failings, and she’s been in tooth fairy rehab dozens of times, and she keeps trying to get better, but I’ve got another kid with his first loose tooth, and I’m worried. Is she going to come through for me? Your 4am opportunity gives me hope, Cathie. Thanks!

  6. Bad news: I smelled disaster as I walked down the hall to get my 16-month-old out of bed.
    Good news: It was *mostly* contained, and I can wash bedding and give baths.
    Bad news: I’m just far enough along in this pregnancy that I don’t have the flexibility or energy to wash a 3 1/2-year-old and 16-month-old from head to toe.
    Good news: I’ve decided if people lived for thousands of years without soap, they can survive until their Dad can do the job.
    Bad news: I just realized that every item of clothing they could wear is still damp in the washing machine.
    Good news: Boys love to be naked, and clothes dry!

    1. Hehehe. Boys DO love to be naked. That is a win, my friend. A complete mama win.

  7. Bad news: I have had to go on a diet. Blergh.
    Good news: I am allowed a slice of raisin toast for morning tea.
    Bad News: I have to measure everything. Including butter on my raisin toast, which means I am allowed just 5g of butter.
    Good news: I have discovered that 5g is JUST enough to make toast yummy!

    1. Bad news: I completely feel your diet pain.
      Good news: Butter.
      🙂

  8. Good news is that I didn’t have to pay an arm and a leg for a manicure and pedicure.
    Bad news is my manicurist is three (almost four).

    Good news is that she painted all twenty nails.
    Bad news is she paints like a three (almost four) year old.

    Good news is that I made the “makeover spa lotion” from lotion and food coloring.
    Bad news is that I put in a little too much blue in the blue one.

    Good news is that I smell like Bath and Body Works Country Chic (nice smell).
    Bad news is that she missed my nails a little (read she covered all of my fingers and most of one leg) and I look like a smurf.

    Good news is that I made a great memory with my three year old this afternoon and my husband had a good laugh.

    1. OK.

      This is playing Good News / Bad News at the Olympic Level.

      Awesome storytelling, Rachel. Brilliant.

  9. Good News, it rained yesterday.
    Bad News, 2 of my girls went out and got all muddy
    Good News, I was not home when it happened
    Bad News, their big sister called to tattle on them
    Good News, The mess was all cleaned up when I got home
    Bad News, I found the muddy clothes at the bottom of the hamper when I did laundry
    Good News, I found them before they started to smell
    Really Good News, it’s almost the end of summer and the clothes won’t fit next summer so I just threw them out!

    1. The day I discovered that I didn’t have to swish poopy, potty-training undies in the toilet and could just THROW THEM AWAY? That day was from Jesus. I’m convinced. Thanks for bringing back Toss ‘Em memories, Sonja. Good times. 🙂

  10. Bad News – Kids need shoes for school
    Good News – 2 boys (age 3 & 5) wear the same size
    Great News – Today is payday & BOGO1/2 off
    Bad News – HOW can a 5 year old boy have such a definite OPINION on shoes??!
    Worse News – $ChaCHING$
    Good News – I haven’t gone grocery shopping yet, so I can finagle the budget
    Best News – 2 boys have 2 pair of shoes each (& can trade if needed) So I don’t have to have those mad dash mornings of only finding shoes for left feet in the bucket – true story.
    Bad News? – They’ll probably grow out of them by Christmas & wearing the same size means no handmedowns 🙁

    1. Who am I kidding? They’ll grow out of them by Halloween!! 😛

      And, I’m still laughing about booger crystals! I’ve caught snotty noses with socks before. They are perfectly absorbant 🙂

      1. Halloween. YES. I feel you, sister.

        And can I just say? I’m totally impressed that you’re shoe-ready for school and it’s still more than 3 weeks away. That is RAD. As for my children, they’re going to school naked and without supplies. Again.

  11. Bad News: My 2 year old son puts on a performance every time he farts – and occasionally only when he’s pretending to fart (which includes grunting, then saying “Much better!” and then clapping for himself) because he’s copying something his daddy did ONCE.
    Good News: He’s finally really bonding with his daddy, who was in Iraq all last year.
    Bad News: Daddy encourages him by laughing hysterically every time he does it, and the potty talk in our house is increasing exponentially.
    Good news: The boys finally get to laugh together, with their sweet little matching laughs, and it is *priceless*.

    1. Ha!

      This sounds like, um, every conversation in my house, except I’m the one encouraging bad manners, and my husband is the one rolling his eyes. 😀

      Love your matching laughs good news – yes, definitely priceless. So glad you shared.

  12. I’ll give it a try!

    Bad news: I was sick on Monday.
    Good news: For the first time since my boss quit, I called in sick, looking forward to a day of sleeping and reading for fun.
    Bad news: I slept for two hours before a co-worker called me with an urgent need for editing and I spent six hours on my sick day working.
    Good news: I no longer have to take sick leave for my sick day.
    Bad news: Staying at home put me further behind during the busiest week I’ve had in awhile.
    Good news: Yesterday I very nearly caught up.
    Bad news: It’s really hard to stay caught up when people keep giving you more work to do.
    Good news: It’s almost the weekend…

    Probably not nearly as fun as if I had kids, but oh well. Basically sums up my week.

    1. Great news: It IS the weekend! Have a restful one, Rochelle.

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