A Halloween Agreement for More Acceptable Working Conditions

Dear Parents,

I cannot urge you strongly enough to read through this document and make sure all Parties sign before you commence trick-or-treating. When we stand up for justice and fair treatment, everyone wins.

Because I care,
Beth

……….

Here’s the full text. Please see below for the printable version.

A Halloween Agreement for More Acceptable Working Conditions
made this 31st day of October, 2012 2013
between you (the Children) and we (the Parents)

WHEREAS the Children are unable to trick-or-treat without the Parents; and WHEREAS the Parents, due to unfair social and cultural constraints, are unable to trick-or-treat by themselves;

NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual undertakings herein contained, the parties hereto agree to the following:

SECTION 1: the Parents will perform the roles of costume designer, make-up artist, hairstylist, safety patrol officer, and manners coach.

SECTION 2: the Children will perform the role of trick-or-treator.

SECTION 3: the Children will acquire loads of candy.

SECTION 4: the Children will share, without objection or complaint, all candy with the Parents.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the Parties hereto have executed this agreement the date first written above.

______________          ______________
Parents                        Children

………

And here’s the printable:

………

Now let’s all have a safe and equal Halloween, shall we?

Amen.

………

Next Post
Previous Post

ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
9 comments
  1. We also tax our kids candy. Just teaching them about the real world. Hoping they don’t learn about taxation without representation before we graduate out of trick or treating.

    1. Haha, just tell them they live in Washington D.C., where that is exactly what happens.

  2. This is hilarious and probably is better active parenting than me just stashing candy in the house where my kids can’t find it. Shhh…please don’t tell.

  3. I love it!

    We have a Candy Tax, wherein every time the kids eat any candy from their bags (even if they are limited to, say, 2 or 3 pieces), each child needs to give to each parent present one piece of candy _of_the_parent’s_choice_ (ie no dumping Good-n-Plenties on me, thank you very much!). With 5 kids, this means that when I tell them 3 pieces each, I get to eat more candy in that sitting than they do…

    🙂

  4. HAHAHAHAHA! Sheer brilliance. I hope you have the signed version taped to your fridge 😀 Have a great night and enjoy all that chocolate! xxx

  5. The pastor of my church uses Halloween as an early lesson in tithing. It’s important, he says, that they learn at a young age to give up 10% of what they have earned so that they realize how much they rely on God/parents to get it in the first place. My husband finds this arrangement acceptable, and insists that children give a representative sample of the candy during that 10%; giving only the candy they don’t like is cheating. We’re not parents yet, but I would say we are on the right track. Maybe we’ll need an agreement like yours, because your handy legalese document is awesome.

  6. I propose an amendment to the aforementioned agreement, wherein the word “candy” is replaced with “peanut butter cups.”

    1. Pah-reach!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.