It’s a blog mash-up with Crappy Pictures!

I am ecstatic to interrupt your regularly scheduled Five Kids programming to let you know that I can be found today in a blog mash-up at Amber Dusick’s brilliant Parenting. Illustrated with Crappy Pictures. I did the writing, and Amber illustrated the hell out it.

I tried to be cool, but

I failed. (Honestly, I didn’t try hard to be cool; this sign practically wrote itself.)

I know what you’re thinking. You just won at blogging, Beth. What are you going to do next? 

And I think there’s only one answer.


In short, head on over to Crappy Pictures and check it out!

The end.


P.S. You know what I like? Radness. Kindness. Encouragement. And mama solidarity in the midst of the mess. (Hey, Amber? Thank you.)


P.P.S. I have literalist children in my midst who might pass out from hyperventilation if I don’t clarify that my “I’m going to Disneyland!” sign actually should read:

“I’m going to already technically at Disneyland which in no way diminishes my excitement at collaborating with



P.P.P.S. Go!


ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
  1. I’m not sure how i stumbled onto your blog, but you certainly have the most hilarious stories i’ve read all day. Thanks for that!

  2. I love your blog and Crappy Pictures too.

    Mom to seven, almost nine grands

  3. yay disneyland! less yay for zipper penis!
    i hope you two ladies get a chance to see each other while you’re vacationing!

    1. Yeah – zipper penis definitely gets less of a yay. Although it’s been a while, and now he finds that story HILARIOUS. What can I say? My kid may not use a zipper well, but he has a ROCKING sense of humor.

      Thanks for stopping by.

  4. Enjoyed the story, and glad you’re having a good time at Disney!

  5. LOVE this story! And yah for Disney and Mommy solidarity! And thanks for introducing me to Crappy Pictures. You can never have too much laughter.

  6. You are on crappy pictures!!! woot woot! I went to crappy pictures, saw Amber talking about you and came straight here to comment! You don’t know me but I’ve been reading for a while and have commented a few times. Love your blog! Now back off to read your guest post on Crappy Pictures!

    1. Katharine, thank you for this. So kind and so great of you to take the time.

  7. Hi Beth. I’m Anne from Life on the Funny Farm (, here by way of Crappy.

    This was too funny. I guess that wasn’t really too hard a choice to make, was it? End up on the couch b/c of food issues or b/c Mommy kissed his penis? A no-brainer.

    Anyway, I am off to check out more of your blog now, b/c we Moms of Many have many similar things to laugh about (I have six). Hope you can pop over to my blog sometime to say hi!

    Have a good one!

    1. Welcome, Anne! Thanks for coming over and introducing yourself.

  8. Just read your story on Crappy Pictures. Poor kid, but so funny. My 3 drive me absoulutely insane at times and I know I could never manage more, but I do admire moms who can have more and survive.

    1. Welcome, Mercy… so glad you’re here. Survival does seem to be the name of this game. 😉

  9. Oh my Jesus, I am dying laughing!!! Awesome! 🙂

  10. I just read the blog, oh my gosh. I was cringing and laughing at the same time (a favorite emotion of mine). Your poor little man! I remember when that happened to my brother. I still cringe every time my girls zip up their footie pajamas and they have no outside parts to worry about, plus they are 12 and 8! Maybe my mom should have given me a cookie and I would have been ok.

    While I agree on the no food for comfort policy, you did the right thing bending the rules this one time! : )

    1. It was a pretty rough way to learn to always wear undies.

  11. Hahahahahaha! Brilliant choice of story to get illustrated. Hilariously drawn by Amber. Have a fantastic time at Disneyland! xxx

    1. Didn’t Amber kill it, Fi??

  12. Wait, wait WAIT. You are at Disneyland? Right now? You are aware that it is driving distance from my home, yes? I think I might just drive have to drive on over and pick up my beer that you owe me. Course Disneyland doesn’t sell alcohol. And certainly not the organic, locally made variety of which you’ve promised. Darn!

    1. Also, I cannot believe that sign! That is the coolest thing ever. You win.

      1. It would’ve been better if I had a video of my 5-year-old wielding my phone for the Disneyland photo shoot. THAT was truly hilarious. I should post all of the outtakes. But I won’t. 😉

    2. I’m in SoCal til tomorrow afternoon, Amber. I brought beer money. 🙂

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