My brother is the original pant pooping hipster.

I told my friends and family this week that I’d be super cool about the whole hanging-out-at-Crappy-Pictures / byline-in-Huffington-Post-Parents thing as soon as I finished pooping my pants.

Then my brother was jealous of me.

You know what? It’s OK, friends. It’s natural. I’m his older sister, and it’s hard being a baby brother sometimes especially when the big kid gets to go do big-kid stuff. I get it.

Except Jeff ruined jealousy because, in typical little-brother fashion, he was jealous about all the wrong things. The writing stuff? He was only congratulatory and awesome and supportive and blah-blah-blah-my-sister’s-a-writer-whatever which was all part of his jerky little baby plan. No, it wasn’t the writing fun that bothered him. Jeff was jealous about the pants-pooping.

So, fine. There you have it. For the record, and in the interest of sibling harmony, I’ve got nothing on Jeff when it comes to pooping pants:

My brother is the original pant pooping hipster.

And our parents wondered if we’d ever get along. Pfft. Parents, you guys.

……….

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
2 comments
  1. Hahahahahahaha! This is so familiar. My younger sister stayed last weekend and initiated a jolly game of scatalogical one-upmanship entitled “Have You Ever Pooed In Your Pants?” We come from classy families, you and I 😉 xo

    1. Scatological one-upmanship. Oh, yes. This sounds EXACTLY like something we’d play, although we might have to change the title to “I pooped (my/a/the) _______” and fill in the blank. I can think of family members who can supply “pants,” “forest,” “under the porch,” “church,” and “closet.” And that’s just of the top of my head. Thanks for the suggestion, Fiona. I know what we’re doing at our next extended family dinner. 😉

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