Stuff We Step On: It’s Not Just the Legos

As I read your responses to 5 Quick Questions, volume 2, I noticed a disturbing trend, friends, and I started to develop a theory.

Rather than be an alarmist, though, I took my time analyzing the data. Combing through your stories for the cold, hard, sometimes terrifying facts, and entering all of the information in a spreadsheet.

The results?

Well, I’m sorry, but they speak for themselves.

We want to think it’s the just Legos. I know. I want to think it’s just the Legos, too. But it’s not just the Legos, friends, that’re out to harm us at night.

Stuff We Step OnIt’s not paranoia if they’re really after you.

P.S. Run.

……….

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
6 comments
  1. Stepping on stuff in the middle of the night is surely one thing. But how about sleeping on stuff -children excluded- during the night because you are too tired to move them- children included?

  2. This is BRILLIANT, Beth. Now we know how rare or common things are as we are experiencing them. Kind of like a Field Guide to Crap on our Floors At Night.

  3. I find the wet that I step on in the middle of the night is often cat vomit or a hairball. I pause long enough to be disgusted scrap the wet from my foot or remove my sock. I then use the bathroom and return to bed awakening in the morning to forget the trauma from the night before and re-stepping in the a fore mentioned wet cat mess. Yes, it happens more than I would like to think about. Why don’t I clean it up on first encounter? 3:00am is just not the time to search for cleaning items. Common people. Does anyone really clean up cat puke at 3:00am?

    1. I clean up cat puke at 3am, but only when she’s thrown up somewhere that would make it even more horrible to clean up the next morning. I cleaned cat sick out of a storage heater (that I had to take apart before I could clean it) at 3am once. It’s not an experience I wish to repeat!

  4. Last night I came into my bedroom and stepped on my own toothbrush. I promise you that I did not put it there…

  5. Or shuffle. Test before you tread.

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