I’ve been parenting for the win a lot lately, and I just thought I’d share a couple things I’m doing exceptionally well so you can follow my example and better your parenting, too.
First, I accused my teenager of acting like a 5-year-old because she didn’t want to come out of her room for, you know, the whole weekend, so I was feeling rejected, hurt and powerless, and also the tiniest bit premenstrually enraged, and that’s always the best time to accuse others. That’s when she told me she was staying in her room because she was in a bad mood and didn’t want to take it out on others “since that’s what you say to do, Mom; if you can’t be kind, take some time alone until you can.”
This is also why I say to do what I say and not what I do. Because my ideas are WAY better than my execution, man.
So there was that for the parenting win.
And then my dad-in-law with his new bum shoulder needed some help moving boxes, and we happen to have a strapping 13 year old boy with excellent shoulders, a desperate need for activity and structure, and a frequently questionable work ethic. PERFECT. So Greg hollered down the stairs, “Hey, Ian?”
“What?” Ian hollered back, ’cause we’re one of those strict don’t-yell-in-the-house families.
“Grandpa’s gotta move some boxes toda…” and Greg didn’t even get through the sentence before that kid started yelling, “NOOOOOOOO! No! No! NOOOOOOOO!” And MAN that made me mad.
Minus the spitting because I’m not much of a spitter.
But brain-whirling mad, for sure.
I had so many thoughts in my brain, in fact, that they all backed up and I couldn’t figure out which one to yell first. Like, “Oh HELL no, kid. When someone in our family needs help, we do NOT start bellowing NO.” Or, “You get your little rear in gear right now, pal. And when you’re done helping Grandpa move boxes, I’ll give you some extra work so you can practice having a decent attitude about it.” Or, “GAH! WHY CAN’T YOU STOP BEING SUCH A TOTAL BUTT NUGGET?!”
You know, brain-whirling mad.
Which is when that same kid – the kid with expressive language disorder who takes some time to get his words out – finished his “NOOOOOOOO! No! No! NOOOOOOOO!” thought with, “NO! Grandpa should not do that! I’m strong. I go help him right now!”
Misjudge your kids much, Beth?
In conclusion, I hate it when my children are more mature than me. It really bites, you know?
Please feel free to join me this fine weekend and share your Parenting Wins, as well. Misery loves company. I swear.
You can see all of the 40 Days of Grace posts
here on the Five Kids blog and here on Facebook.
15 responses to “Parenting for the Win”
AGAIN with the tears, Beth! Knock it off.
Is it okay that my ONE YEAR OLD totally schools me some days? Like yesterday, when I told her not to go in the kitchen cupboard again, and she immediately ran AT me…and I got down on my knees all ready to empathize with her frustration but Keep. My. Firm. Limit. No. Matter. What. …
and then she just leaned forward and kissed me right on the lips.
Complete with the “MMMMAAH!” sound.
And then went and found her baby doll and left the kitchen cupboard alone.:)
Although I know I’ve had my fair share of parenting wins, what comes to my mind is an opportunity to sell out my big sisters. When I was five and they were 16 and 18, our parents went to Washington D.C. for a week. One morning I woke up with a terrible stomach ache. They thought I was faking it, and sent me to school.
I puked on the bus.
It was miserable and embarrassing, but I’d been quite indignant that they thought I would lie about being sick, so there was a definite “I told you so!” aspect.
Reminds me of the time my then 5 year old son asks me to take the longer way to school. I respond with “Why? So you can play with your game boy longer?”
He replies “No, so you can practice your driving.”
I tell him “I don’t need to practice my driving. I’ve been driving for X years.”
He says “Yes you do. You got a ticket.”
I am quiet because indeed I did get a speeding ticket with my children in the car. Damn.
Parenting for the wiiiiiiinnnnnnn……..
Isn’t it great our kids give us never ending opportunities to improve our parenting? I sure need all the opportunities I can get. Thanks for the funny post!
I am having a crappy day. And making all kinds of parenting win decisions. I am going to lock myself in my room with a box of wine and hope for a better day tomorrow.
Seems that the responses of your kids are an incredible testimony to the love and grace you and Greg have poured into your kids. Good job!!
Beth, you always manage to make me think (or occasionally say out loud, to the confusion of my family) “Thank God, I’m not the only one!”
I’m pretty sure that qualifies as a superpower. Thanks for putting your awesomely imperfect self out there to encourage all us other beautiful messes.
How about accusing your kindergartner for faking an illness to get out of school, only to comedown with the same illness yourself and feel like you’ve been run over by a Mac truck! *raises hand :-\
Yes. My kid is only six and I’ve had several instances when he explained to me why my attitude toward him at a particular time was wrong or unfair, which really annoyed me because he was both insightful and completely right. It’s that situation when you feel you need to scold because it’s the RIGHT thing to do, after all, so you can point him/her in the RIGHT direction…but the truth is that the kid really needs a hug instead.
I love your kids. And you, for your complete honesty. I needed that.
Or like those days when you’ve been arguing with them every.single.time they say anything at all. “But mom…. Why?” “But mom…”
One of two things happen usually:
1.) You say something and brace yourself for the argument only to hear “ok mom.”
2.) You say something, they argue back, you cut them off with a “because…,.” Only to hear their explanation is completely valid and you feel like an @sshat.
Yeah…. Been there. Crappy thing is that I’ve been there a lot lately- stress caused by a sudden medical issue with me and dealing with it while not letting the boys know any more than they need to… I need wine…. 🙂
I too have fallen under a new not so fun illness, which I find myself telling my 4 and 5 year old much more than I would prefer “mommy can’t I’m sick, or hurting, or please don’t climb on me, get off!” etc. I know how you are feeling in some ways at least Krista, and I hope you feel better soon, or that some strength and patience comes both our ways as we deal with feeling icky.
As for parenting ‘wins” I’ve had more than I can count, and none that comes directly to my mind with all the ones I have had, and truthfully none that I would feel terribly good about telling because the stories (much like telling my kids I can’t play I’m sick, get off me etc) makes me feel so bad. But Beth, thank you for your honesty with us so that I realize I am not terrible, just not perfect, which I can handle much better. 🙂
Krista, you have my prayers 🙂 as do you Beth and all us perfectly imperfect mommas 🙂