I was on a quick trip with my cousin last week, and now I’m home Doing All the Laundry and Drinking All the Coffee and Being Late for All the School Drop-offs and Listening to All the Urgent MomMomMomMomMommyMoms!, but I need to interrupt All Those Fun Things to tell you what Jen and I discovered in the middle of Rachel Ray’s magazine while sitting on a boring, blissful beach in the scalding, silent sun for two whole days.
THE PERFECT EATING PLAN.
Which I’ve been searching for for at least FOREVER.
And there it was at the bottom of page 36.
The VB6 Cookbook: More than 350 recipes for Healthy Vegan Meals All Day
and Delicious Flexitarian Dinners at Night
So the premise is you eat vegan meals during the day, which is NOT the part of eating plan that’s perfect. Obviously. Because I’m not going to be a vegan before 6pm or, really, anytime. Not because I’m opposed to veganism; it’s just a) I’m nowhere near organized enough to put an entire vegan eating plan together and then, hahaha, stick to it, and b) cheese.
But did you see the second part of that subtitle?!
Because I realized what I am capable of doing was right there on the page in green and white.
I am, in fact, already doing it.
The PERFECT EATING PLAN.
And OK, yes, I’m behind the times.
And OK, yes, I’m defining it all wrong.
Because I AM A FLEXITARIAN where Flexitarianism is defined not as eating mostly vegetarian with the occasional sidecar of meat but instead as totally flexible eating.
The Mixed Martial Arts of Eating!
A hodgepodge of food plans.
Like a chocolate cupcake, a banana and the handful of Easter candy I snuck from my kids’ baskets for breakfast. And trail mix with M&M’s for lunch. And my kid’s leftover fried rice for second lunch. And a trip to the farmer’s market for fresh, organic, local produce in the afternoon, because I care about healthful eating, folks, followed by I’m Confused Why You Keep Asking What’s for Dinner – Have We Run Out of Fake Kraft Mac & Cheese? for dinner.
It’s my -ism!
Which is when Jen noted that, when it’s defined right, she’s a Flexitarian, like, all the time.
So we decided to start the Flexitarian All the Time Diet.
To support our fellow Flexitarians! And to make millions, of course. Millions.
FLEXITARIAN ALL the TIME, guys.
We’re calling it F.A.T. for short.
7 responses to “WE FOUND IT! The Perfect Eating Plan!”
Ah, I like the Flexitarian label much better than my most recent “Vegetarian Who Enjoys the Occasional Steak”
I just did a little laugh/snort at F.A.T. What an acronymn!
You are hilarious. Thank you.
Sorry, I hope you still love me, but I have been a vegetarian (not vegan, because – CHEESE!) for almost as long as you’ve been alive. Not only that, but I am kind of a food nazi these days. Mostly because of my son’s allergies which have led me to do research which has led me to the conclusion that the FDA is not only NOT looking out for us, but probably trying to actively kill us. So we are really good (healthy) eaters. But I’m still fat, so there’s that.
However, I am here to tell you that I have lost 25 lbs this last year by doing virtually NO EXERCISE*. All we have done is rid of our diets of fake food. And I’m still putting sugar in my coffee (yep, sugar AND coffee!)
* occasional walk (very occasional) and biblical knowledge of my husband (more occasional than he’d like.)
YES! I am F.A.T. for sure! I mean, I may grab a “health shake” from the fridge, but then if I get a call to meet other mom friends at McD’s – I’ll get a half cut tea, I mean, I’M ALL KINDS OF FLEXIBLE! I don’t want them to feel like I’m not being me, and they know I’m all kinds of golden arches. Yip, I have all of my fresh fruits and veggies here for snacks but what? You don’t think packaged mini-muffins are good?! lol Balance and moderation. LOVE the Flexitarian plan!! 🙂
Seriously. That is the best ever!! I’m gonna totally be a Flexitarian from now on. All the Time. In fact. I’m quite sure I have been and just didn’t even know it!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now (recommended by a friend) and I love it. And I think you are fantastic. And real. And a little bit my hero. 🙂
LOL! Well, that’s a more liberal take on the term.
We used to be flexitarians, as defined, until we realized my 3yo’s asthma and eczema were caused by some of the diet’s staples. Now, we are are more paleo…which is a hard switch. Still…I find myself breakfasting on stolen holiday/birthday/just because candy on the occasion. AND. I sometimes drool when you mention econobuy mac-n-cheese 🙂