I was on a quick trip with my cousin last week, and now I’m home Doing All the Laundry and Drinking All the Coffee and Being Late for All the School Drop-offs and Listening to All the Urgent MomMomMomMomMommyMoms!, but I need to interrupt All Those Fun Things to tell you what Jen and I discovered in the middle of Rachel Ray’s magazine while sitting on a boring, blissful beach in the scalding, silent sun for two whole days.
THE PERFECT EATING PLAN.
Which I’ve been searching for for at least FOREVER.
And there it was at the bottom of page 36.
The VB6 Cookbook: More than 350 recipes for Healthy Vegan Meals All Day
and Delicious Flexitarian Dinners at Night
So the premise is you eat vegan meals during the day, which is NOT the part of eating plan that’s perfect. Obviously. Because I’m not going to be a vegan before 6pm or, really, anytime. Not because I’m opposed to veganism; it’s just a) I’m nowhere near organized enough to put an entire vegan eating plan together and then, hahaha, stick to it, and b) cheese.
But did you see the second part of that subtitle?!
Because I realized what I am capable of doing was right there on the page in green and white.
I am, in fact, already doing it.
The PERFECT EATING PLAN.
And OK, yes, I’m behind the times.
And OK, yes, I’m defining it all wrong.
Because I AM A FLEXITARIAN where Flexitarianism is defined not as eating mostly vegetarian with the occasional sidecar of meat but instead as totally flexible eating.
The Mixed Martial Arts of Eating!
A hodgepodge of food plans.
Like a chocolate cupcake, a banana and the handful of Easter candy I snuck from my kids’ baskets for breakfast. And trail mix with M&M’s for lunch. And my kid’s leftover fried rice for second lunch. And a trip to the farmer’s market for fresh, organic, local produce in the afternoon, because I care about healthful eating, folks, followed by I’m Confused Why You Keep Asking What’s for Dinner – Have We Run Out of Fake Kraft Mac & Cheese? for dinner.
It’s my -ism!
Which is when Jen noted that, when it’s defined right, she’s a Flexitarian, like, all the time.
So we decided to start the Flexitarian All the Time Diet.
To support our fellow Flexitarians! And to make millions, of course. Millions.
FLEXITARIAN ALL the TIME, guys.
We’re calling it F.A.T. for short.