How to Honor Fathers on Facebook

Look. I get it. It’s hard to know how to honor fathers well. How to encapsulate all they do. How to let them know they’re loved and appreciated and respected. And with a Facebook page just filled to overflowing with the dad pics and the gushing statuses this Father’s Day? Well, it’s tough to get a word in edgewise. So I want you to know, it’s OK if you choked. It’s OK if you dropped the ball. And it’s not too late to take remedial action and make Father Reparations to your Facebook Wall. In fact, because I care about you and all the dads out there, I’ve put together this handy dandy, easy guide to help you. 

Exhibit A: How to Honor the Father of Your Children

photo 1 (69)

Step 1: Post a picture of your kids’ dad on Facebook.

I recommend using a high school senior portrait, especially if you have one from the 80’s or 90’s, because those are always the hottest. Like, HOT hot. And who doesn’t want his senior picture shared without his permission on Facebook? No one, that’s who. No one doesn’t want his senior pic on Facebook because that is what Facebook is for.


Step 2: Mention that you make him pose like this in bed.

Because a) again with the HOT hot, and b) it’s a great idea to share with your friends and family so they, too, can recreate their senior pictures in the bedroom.

photo 2 (1).PNG

It’s like a picture and a public service announcement, really – a status update and improving the world – all in one Facebook post. You’re welcome, friends. You’re welcome.

Step 3: Hack your mom-in-law’s Facebook account (helpful hint: your dad-in-law can help you) and encourage your brother-in-law to leave comments on her behalf like “I taught my boy everything he knows.”

Your mom-in-law will LOVE having people think she wrote that. Trust me. It can only do good things for your relationship.

Give it a go.

 

Exhibit B: How to Honor Your Own Dad

Step 1: Pick a nice picture of your dad. Make it classy. This is how you show your dad you love him, so it’s no time for games. Something precious from your childhood is perfect. 

Step 2: Include a sincere brag. Mine said, “My dad is cooler than your dad.” Because obviously.

Dad

And there you have it, friends.

Go and do likewise.

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
5 comments
  1. You just crack me up!!! I saw it on FB before I read this and thought to myself somebody is going to be in big trouble. Then I read this hahahahahahaha

  2. It’s not too late, Old Marine, to cancel reservations for offspring in September… Just saying…

  3. oh this made me laugh!!! Let’s not forget that most of the dads we are “honoring” on Facebook aren’t even ON Facebook to see that we said nice things about them. *eye roll*

  4. Exhibit A, Step 4: Make up some flimsy excuse to make a hasty exit with one of the children before MIL discovers the “scoundrels” who misappropriated her account and implicated you.

  5. It could be worse. Um…. Gimme a minute and I’ll tell you *how* it could be worse… Uh… Well… Maybe not…

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