Every Boy’s Fondest Wish

Sometimes, kids say the most profound things when we least expect them, and we must keep our ears open lest we miss their dreams and wishes, their longings and desires.

photo 1 (73)This morning, my parents and I loaded 3 littles into a canoe and a kayak, and we took off together down Oregon’s Willamette River. The sun was brilliant. The skies azure. The water simultaneously lazy and strong and achingly beautiful, like a mother, tired by her labor, taking a rest, and working, still, powerfully beneath the surface.

We stole downriver, startling Great Blue Herons from their slumber at the water’s edge as we giggled and played and soaked each other with paddles and plastic water toys. 

My son said he had to pee then, and so, without a landing or another boat in sight, we said, “Now’s your chance, man.”

He took it. 

My son’s urine cascaded into emerald waters, yellow droplets glimmering in the sun as they fell next to the gliding canoe. He experimented with the arc and trajectory. With force and precision control.

And at the end, he shook his head sadly and said, “I really wish I had better range on this thing.”

Which, I think, sums up every boy’s fondest wish:

I really wish I had better range on this thing.

The End

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
8 comments
  1. I really needed a laugh today. Thank you! Things to look forward to when my boys are a little older!

  2. My husband rarely giggles, but he GIGGLED for a long time upon reading this!

  3. hahahah!!! Both my boys would agree!!!

  4. My ex husband had a free-range penis.
    Badump-bum!

  5. that is awesome. I love your writing.

    But what is it about boys peeing outside? I can tell my three year old to go potty before we leave and he insists that he doesn’t have to go but as soon as we walk outside and lock the door, all of a sudden he has to go RIGHT NOW and drops his pants and goes. Outside. In the front yard. Where we just moved a month ago.

  6. For the first and probably last time, I genuinely regret not having a son.

    That is all.

  7. Finally, a post with pee in it. I’ve been missing those.

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