Keeping It Real

Keeping It Real

“Keeping It Real.”

That is, perhaps, the stupidest name ever for one of my blog posts. EVER ever. Because when do I not keep it real around here? I mean, really.

It’s just, even though I don’t have time to write you All the Details right now, and even though I plan to write you All the Details soon, I need you to know we moved our couch yesterday.

We moved our couch yesterday, which is Always A Mistake.

We moved our couch yesterday after 18 months of Not Moving Our Couch.

We moved our couch yesterday, even though we Know Better.

We moved our couch yesterday, and this is what we found.

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And this:

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And this:

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I just thought you should know.

Signature

 

 

 

P.S. I also think you should know this:

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You know, in case you run across one of those things. Then you’ll know what it is.

P.P.S. That drawing is on my living room floor.

 

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ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
26 comments
  1. […] And show an affinity for human anatomy, which we’ve already discussed. […]

  2. My husband and I don’t have kids yet so we have a somewhat clean house most of the time (mostly his doing– I’m not really a cleaner). I know our semi-clean house will not last if kids come along and I’m okay with that (because again, I’m not a cleaner). I showed him your post about your laundry system one time and he was very much opposed, even though I would do that now with just the two of us! I feel like he’ll need to toughen up to messes and clutter if we’re going to have kids and I’m trying to ease him into that. Thanks for never being afraid to share and keep it real!

  3. This episode of Beth Woolsey’s Street – “Oscar The Grouch Lives Under Our Couch” is brought to you by the Letter P and Number 1.

  4. I am a little behind on this (perhaps), but if you trace over permanent marker with a dry erase marker, you can wipe it off with a baby wipe. I used this to remove sharpie from my kitchen table. I think it works best when you use a lighter (not black) color dry erase marker, but I don’t know why. OR you could just frame it out with moulding strips!!

    1. ‘Frame it out with moulding strips’. H.y.s.t.e.r.i.c.a.l!

  5. My children are 30, 26, and 24 years old. They have all moved out into their own homes and we sold their bunk beds to another family. When we took the beds out of the bedroom we found a similar treasure trove to what you have discovered under your couch – no penis pictures, though. I’m not sure what my point is in relating this personal account to you unless maybe I’m telling you that it doesn’t get any better as they get older. Or maybe the lesson we should all take away from this is that we should NEVER move the furniture!

  6. So in the interest of keeping it real, I read the end of your post and thought “BWAHAHAHAHA. She said PeePee.” As in P.P.S.

    I think I’d fit in with your boys…..

  7. I’m not sure which I like more: the collection under the couches or the artwork. Cheers to both!

  8. Put the couch over the penis pictures and show their future girlfriends. Between the treasure and the artistry they are sure to be impressed!

  9. Screw the nailpolish remover and essential oils. I say leave the drawings on the floor. You’ve got an incredibly educated family there and they’re basically doing a public service.

    Just oh my gosh.

  10. Wish I could tell you it gets better…. ( 8 boys, 1 girls) but it does make for great memories and stories when they are older. I shudder to think what is between the walls and the beds in the room with 4 teenage boys here… Today I am not brave enough to look…

    1. Oh and lemon essential oils takes off permanent marker without damage.

  11. I recommend isopropyl alcohol (aka rubbing alcohol) for removing sharpie ink. It may be less likely to take varnish of than acetone.

    1. Hand sanitizer works on some surfaces too.

  12. hahahahahaha I LOVE YOU, BETH!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀 this post just made my night so much better LOL

  13. Uncircumcised, eh?
    Someone in your family is a really good artist!
    Also, you have beautiful wood floors. Even if someone did draw “wood” on them! ~_^

  14. Magic erasers with a little dawn dish soap and water takes Sharpie off even unfinished wood!
    You. Are. Welcome.

    Unfortunately, I did not learn this amazing info until child #4…

  15. oh my. Is it just me or does the “peeing penes” drawing kinda look like……something else?

  16. Advice: Sharpie often (not always) comes out with acetone (think nail polish remover), but this could be at the cost of stripping the finish off your wood floors, so proceed with caution.

    In other news, you know what definitely strips the finish off MY wood floors?

    Masking tape.

    HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?

  17. I love the penis! Hahaha I get the couch moving, it’s terrifying.

  18. Is it just me or is that an uncircumcised penis? Very accurate! My daughter carved “Mom” into my wooden table so I guess I should be thankful she didn’t carve a penis in the table. I was impressed that I didn’t lose it when I noticed.

  19. Way to go leaving your boys intact! Which can be surmised by their drawings on your floor.

    1. My thoughts exactly! 😀

  20. In a house with 4 boys and only a girl I was certain to find a penis picture somewhere and I did. Only it was my daughter who made the very accurate drawing! Poor thing needs a sister!

    p.s. Your son’s art is very vividly accurate…and as a mom of intact boys I notice these things. LOL

  21. Please tell me that’s not Sharpie marker…….

  22. OMG… 🙂 I totally have moved the couch to find the crap, but never the peeing penis picture (yay alliteration!) 😛

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