Hold Everything! (A Group Remodeling Project: Part 6)

Regarding the range hood, HOLD EVERYTHING, friends.

Our friend, Katherine, just sent us this picture, and I suspect it’s the Perfect Thing.


That’s a “Vintage Hood” made to order by the folks at Antique Vintage Appliances. They can make it in any color and any size with several trims. So all the advantages of a modern hood, all the lovely of vintage. Here’s their shtick:

We manufacture range hoods patterned after a classic stove hood built in the 1940’s through the early 1950’s. We have updated the fan section with a Broan insert with variable speed blowers, removable filters and a two position light switch. A mounting bracket will be provided for easy installation. This bracket creates a 1/4” space on the wall so you can install a painted, tiled or stainless backsplash of your choice with a finished edge. These are manufactured in widths of 30” to 60” and can be painted to match any decor. The trim pieces and logo can be plated in copper, nickel, chrome or brass.

Questions for the Team:

  1. I assume if this doesn’t cost one thousand million ka-jillion dollars, we must have it as it is the perfect hat for Betty. Correct?? << This is the part where you weigh in quickly because I’m Mostly Sold already, so if this isn’t the thing, you must talk me down. If you need tips for talking me down, Greg can provide you with details, though, as an overview, you can try distracting me (food, blood and nudity are most effective) or looking like you ate something rancid and, when I ask what’s wrong with your face, saying, “Your life choices, Beth; your life choices are what is wrong with my face.”
  2. I further assume we shall order this in white with chrome trim because that’s what Betty’s wearing, and every lady from the 1950’s knows your hat must coordinate with your shoes and handbag.

The only downside I can see here is the fact that it reinforces it’s worth it to wait for the Right Thing rather than Rush the Job. As a lifelong fan of Rushing the Job, I’m afraid this is the kind of thing that will force me to reevaluate my priorities, and that kind of bites.

Thoughts, friends? Do share!

With bated breath,





P.S. I emailed the Vintage Hood people 2 whole hours ago and have heard NOTHING yet. I suggest we all call them and kindly note that I need an answer. ASAP. Because I’m Very Bad at Waiting. I’m sure they’ll understand. Their number is 1-520-326-6849.

P.P.S. Here’s a pic of Betty with the Vintage Hood pic, too:


I think they might be soulmates.

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28 responses to “Hold Everything! (A Group Remodeling Project: Part 6)”

  1. I need to chime in here, I am VERY pro hat. True it may not necessarily blend with the cabinets, but I personally think it will make Betty look more integrated. Like she isn’t just a rose jabbed in among the carnations, she’s the center of the plan. However, despite all efforts, my decorative style is more eclectic attic. So, I might not be the person to ask.

  2. I’m with Elizabeth too, it’s too much for the kitchen that you have (and that is very nice, but does need a new stove at a different spot).

  3. Actually, Sorry, but I like the under cabinet hood better. I have to agree with others that this might look out of place with your current cabinets, table, etc. Betty is cute though. I’ve been wanting to see a pic of her.

  4. I love it! But then, I’m all about the antiques! And be so thankful you are not in the middle of a remodel like we are and dealing with insurance companies. My kitchen has been torn up now for 2 months with no end in sight for another 2-3 months. In other words, you have Greg to contend with … I have a line of “other” men…husband, project manager, insurance adjuster, insurance company … all to fight with! 😉

  5. Looooooove it! Betty MUST have this, and so do you, and Greg, he just doesn’t know yet? Maybe?

  6. Nice! Also, planning and executing renovations for your own home that you actually live in sucks. Way too many options, way too much waiting, and none of the decision-making helpers like vision statements, mandates, and official style guidelines including Pantone colors and typefaces. But it is fun to read about, so please don’t give up on the project or on writing about it!
    Also, this July I am moving back to the Portland area after 21-ish years away. Maybe sometime I will come to one of your non-writing-specific retreats!

  7. Question: is your whole kitchen going to be period?

    Because if not, I wouldn’t bother with this (unless it’s cheaper than your other options, in which case we can probably make it work).

    I would just get something basic and brushed. That way you’re closer to farmhouse industrial than to “this half of my kitchen is from 1958 and this half is from 2008.”

    But I’m not a mid-century fan. At least, not the middle of the 20th century.

    • I’m with Elizabeth on this one. A) Likely expensive and B) stick w/ the farmhouse industrial, because otherwise you’ll end up not liking how the rest of the kitchen fits in with your supercute period stove/hood situation.

    • I agree with Elizabeth. If it’s cheaper, it would be fine, but I’d probably stick with the under the cabinet model.

  8. Love it! It’s perfect for the stove… even if it requires you to do something called “patience,” which I’m not terribly familiar with but I hear is a good thing. At least an “adult” and “mature” thing.

  9. Betty needs that hat. Betty deserves it. Betty will look like Derby Day every day and popcorn made on her would taste like the finest artisanal exploded maize.

  10. Humph! I really love this. Like enough that I tried to leave a comment with just the word “Love” five times, appropriately spaced with 4 friendly commas followed by a dozen friendlier exclamation points. But the internets comment monitoring algorithm didn’t like it and wouldn’t let me. But you get the idea….

  11. I would say IT IS WORTH THE WAIT!!! The line on the hat matching the dress cracked me up and TOTALLY right.
    No lady would wear stainless steel when she could have white with chrome to match. Duh Greg.

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