Several Problems with the Kitchen Remodel, Mostly Emotional (A Group Remodeling Project: Part 5)

Friends! GOOD NEWS! Greg and I fought about the kitchen!

This means he’s not being crafty or wily or luring us into complacency before he springs his trap to derail us.

Unless he’s being crafty and wily by arguing to throw us off the crafty and wily scent. He IS better at chess than me. Probably. I’ve never played chess with him, but I assume, based on his passion for mathematics and strategy, and my inability to sit at a table for longer than two minutes before feeling jittery and panicky and like there are twelve other things I should be doing with my time, that he’s better at chess than me. Greg’s definitely better at Scrabble, though, so I feel like we can extrapolate. He takes five hundred thousand million years to take his turn so he can graph every possible letter combination and permutation and the trajectory of their positions on the board, and then he gets crabby when I poke him in the shoulder and say, “Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg. Are you going to go now? How ’bout now? Now? How ’bout now?”

The point being, Greg takes the EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG view of things so he could be throwing us off by arguing with us about the kitchen.

But I don’t think so. I think we’re in the clear. I think he’s genuinely disgruntled about a couple things, so WE’RE BACK ON TRACK and all’s good! We can proceed as NORMAL.

Which leads me to the problems we’re having with the kitchen remodel, none of which have to do with the remodel and all of which have to do with the counseling, encouragement and tough love you’re going to need to provide if we’re going to get anywhere. 

Specifically, our problems are as follows:

  1. Greg is Having an Issue with the chimney range hood concept (option 1 from the previous post). He does not like it. Does Not. Unequivocally. He only likes the idea of a cabinet and under-cabinet mount (which was option 2). Now, obviously this should not be a problem because Greg is entitled to have an opinion, I said I like both, and most of Us are all, “Meh. Whatever. No super strong opinion.” So whatever, right? I believe my exact words were, “I tend to like both and can easily be talked into either.” What I meant was I can easily be talked into either by YOU. Not by Greg. There is nothing — nothing — more likely to sway me toward pizza than Greg saying he absolutely MUST have a burger. So I found I NEEDED the chimney range hood, after all, and did NOT want — in fact, COULD NOT TOLERATE — the cabinet there. See how this complication is all Greg’s fault? Me, neither. 🙁 I came around. Eventual Maturity, I call it. I’d prefer just Maturity, but I’m not always issued that in my personality tool box.
  2. Greg is ALSO Having an Issue with placing the dishwasher further to the right of the sink than immediately next to it. I considered making this decision harder than it had to be, like I did with the range hood, but, since Greg does more dishes than me, he gets to pick. Me = Problem Solver! Also, Me = Dishes Avoider!
  3. But the Main Problem is we are officially 8 days into this project, and I would like to quit now. It’s not that I’ve suddenly decided I like starting my stove with an ice pick. The problem is I cannot sustain this much interest in myself or my house over the long term. This is the part where you say, “But, Beth, you are a BLOGGER. It’s your literal JOB to sustain this much interest in yourself.” And that’s when I’ll answer, “This is why I’m So Bad at Things; I do them wrong. CONSTANTLY,” and often on purpose. For example, I read articles that tell me my blog posts MUST be shorter — 500-800 words is “optimal length” — and I IMMEDIATELY sit down and write 1200 words as rebellion because No One Can Tell Me What to Do.

Now, I’m not rebelling against the remodel. I want to do it. It makes sense to do it. It’s just — it’s been 8 days — and I’d like to be done now because I’m driving Me crazy pestering myself with kitchen questions. It’s like one half of my brain is Me playing Scrabble, making hasty decisions and plunking down letters and Getting on with Life because there are More Important Things than Thinking Decisions Through and Being SURE About Them, and the other half of me is Greg playing Scrabble, talking through Every Possible Permutation. The Greg half is all, “Wait! I have to think of ALL THE THINGS,” and the Beth half is all, “Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth. Are you done yet? Can you go now? How ’bout now? How ’bout now?” until I WANT TO SLAP ME.

You guys. You guys. There are Serious Things Happening in the Real World. Trump is the presumptive presidential nominee for the Republican Party; THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS HAPPENING. We should all be laying on the floor like Nancy Kerrigan when she got her knee beat to crap during the Olympic ice skating trials — laying there yelling Why? Why? WHY? And we are talking about a KITCHEN REMODEL, instead.

Which, I suppose, is exactly why we MUST talk about a kitchen remodel, yes? BECAUSE WE WILL SING WHILE THE SHIP GOES DOWN.


In conclusion, if anyone has any free counseling to offer, or encouragement, or pats on the head, or “there, there, sweet bunnies,” or kicks in the rear to offer, we’re at your disposal.

In the meantime, I’m sending love and waving in the dark,





IMG_9476P.S. We DID have our contractor friends in to bid on the cabinet work. We’re waiting that to see whether there’s much of a cost difference in the range hoods/cabinet options, and we’ll tell you more when we know more.

P.P.S. Please do not be too worried about Future Arguments. I have explained to Greg that arguing with me in the future is actually arguing with All of Us as the Kitchen Remodel Collective. I helped him understand that we are the Borg, we will assimilate him, and resistance is futile. He took it well.



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24 responses to “Several Problems with the Kitchen Remodel, Mostly Emotional (A Group Remodeling Project: Part 5)”

  1. I vote for continuing to use the ice pick.

    I too am facing a kitchen remodel. My husband is super keen, since the cabinet doors are threatening to fall off at the hinges. I say we don’t need those doors then, just let it be. He wants to do major things like reconfigure the whole space. I can’t figure out a scenario that’s better than we have. I’ve been advised that we will probably need to move out, since health, I have to make nearly all our food from scratch.

    Meanwhile, luckily for me, I was diagnosed with breast cancer last Fall, so I’ve in the midst of a year long reprieve from the whole topic!

  2. I’m “feeling the Bern” and have decided to vacate the country (possibly literally) if Trump should take office. *shudder*

    Laying that aside, Aww honey. ((big squish hugs))
    On remodeling, all I will say is… Well, hang in there. It’s worth it. Honest.

    A tornado laid a tree on our house in 2001. Gave us a lovely skylight, and an opportunity to do a really big remodel on our house. Well, it’s finished now. Almost. There are just a few more little jobs to do…

    Just be glad you’re “just” doing a kitchen. So far. Until, of course, you notice that the new kitchen makes the living room look a little shabby… 😉

    Much love, friend, and sending prayers up for Greg.

  3. Your Greg sounds JUST LIKE my Jon! I refuse to play a strategy game with him because of it – really any game. Just not worth the trial to my sanity!!

    • Yes. Yes, it will. Greg does not care. It will be in the same proximity to the sink when it’s moved to the right side as it currently is on the left, which DOES block 1/2 of the space in front of the sink when the dishwasher door is open. Greg, apparently, likes it that way, and he shall have it because NO MORE DISHES FOR ME. HOORAY!

  4. Hang in there, friend. Remodels of anything are hard, but it gets easier to tolerate over time. I say this as someone who has survived a kitchen renovation, office renovation, great room renovation, and is now at the finish line for a YEAR-LONG basement finishing project. No joke. And that’s in the span of 3 years – 3 years! Yeah. If you ever question your sanity, just think of us and feel better about yourself, okay?

    Pinterest has been the biggest help when it comes to deciding what we think we’ll like and not like – nothing like seeing how something has worked out for someone else. Budget is naturally a huge factor, and the often stubborn, opinionated husband is the other big obstacle. I won’t lie – I have had to compromise A LOT, but in the end, you learn which decisions matter a lot to you, and which ones don’t, and in the end, the compromises are what make the space you build YOURS (together). Plus, you get better at making decisions efficiently if for no other reason than you get tired of the agonizing.

    Here for you if you need an extra opinion or friend to cheer you on. And don’t stress too much about Trump; Hillary’s got this, and no matter whether you’re a fan, she’s still a better, saner alternative.

  5. I prefer the under cabinet look b/c I can’t picture a big silver hood thing with that big pipe going up above a pretty Betty. I think cabinets will help her fit in better. But what do I know.

  6. Hiiiiii my name is Aubrey and I live in your town (that sounds creepy/stalker- sorry). We have a 1956(?) range and it is the light of my life. We had to tear out some cabinets and put a modern hood on top and 3 years later I still whisper goodnight to it before we head off to bed. If you need to come see it for some inspiration/kick in the pants… contact the Bubbas and get at me.

  7. If I weren’t frantically getting ready to leave the country, I’d come have you demonstrate that ice pick move and bake you a chocolate cake this weekend. Now, have you seen my passport?

    This too shall pass… You have this come-unity here to help make all the choices and get you through this!

  8. I would be done on day two. I want all the things done but I have no patience or attention span-I get bored. I’d be thinking of other projects instead of focusing on this one because I’d be dying of boredom. I don’t understand why fairies can’t just fix everything in rally time so I can get on to important things like netflixing or reading. It’s like they’re not even trying..

  9. I agree with Greg about the cabinethood option – and Pulease no storage space under the hood (grease and dust is just the most yucky thing – ever).
    Stop wasting your energy arguing, just make a choice and go! You will never know it is the best option: it is the only option, because you chose it. And therefore, no regrets to be had.
    Ok, now that we have all decided on the kitchen remodel, what’s the next project?
    Getting rid of the too much laundry and linen? I’m in!

  10. FYI-I personally like the fluted hood and not the under the cabinet hood. I also have a vintage stove that I would like to plumb gas for my home this summer, but alas I need all the cupboard space I can get so the fluted hood cuts into needed cabinets. There are companies that make hoods for vintage stoves that also appear vintage and you could possibly place them under a cabinet if you so desired.

  11. I love that we have been likened to the Borg. Kiss Betty goodnight. She will be cozy in her new home soon. It will all be well.

  12. Well, I missed all the voting, but I have to say, I think moving the stove between the sink and fridge was an excellent idea! The perfect kitchen has neither stove nor fridge nor sink more than 5 feet apart and as long as you have counter space on either side of the stove you should be golden. 😉

    I also think that having the undermount hood looks better because you won’t have cabinets on both sides of the hood and also, your kitchen does not look like that sleek shiny kitchen in the photos. Sorry. Mine doesn’t either and I had to pick much darker cabinets than I wanted for my kitchen last summer or they would have been totally out of place in the house.

    AAAALLL that to say, we remodeled our kitchen last summer and since you are not ripping everything out and starting all the way with a bare empty room (flooring included) this should hopefully take you way less than 6 weeks once it’s started.

    Please tell me you have a good contractor/handyman friend that will look over your ideas and tell you if anything is missing? It will go oh so much more smoothly that way!

    My other recommendation is to have ALL supplies that you can think of on hand before you start. (cabinets, dishwasher, hood, handles for cabinets, everything) That will make the actual process much faster than getting mostly done and discovering that you have to wait 2 months to have the countertops installed over your new cabinets… yes, we had unattached counters with plastic duck taped at the back to protect our new cabinets from any possible water leaking down the back. It looked just as classy as it sounds!

    Good luck! Have fun! And it will be awesome when it’s done. Persevere!

    • You will also want supplies such as paper plates and something else to cook on. Did you know you can make biscuits on the barbecue? I’m sure you could make chicken nuggets there, just use a pan. If you have a side burner on your barbecue you can cook your Mac and cheese there. Now your all set. At least you won’t have to wash dishes in the bathtub for a week.

  13. Just do it! Betty deserves a home. Just promise you won’t have President Trump over for dinner in your new fancy kitchen (if you do, you had better write a very long blog about it with pictures!).

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