I keep waiting to write you until I have time to write something helpful or important or, at the very least, thoughtful, but that’s not happening this week, so I’m going to write to you to be needy. That’s what I seem to have right now. They always say, “Write what you know.” Well, being needy, friends; that’s what I know, so here we go.
I’m having a minor crisis at the moment, and it’s your fault. Not that I’m all about placing blame, but, seriously, you’re going to have to take responsibility for this one. ALSO, while my personal crisis may be minor, you’ve created a major crisis for someone else, and I thought you should know. Two someone elses, actually, and since it’s not OK to let major crises fester when you have the power to alleviate the harm you’ve (albeit unintentionally) caused, I say you get right on this situation. STAT.
Yes?
Yes. I’m glad we agree.
Here’s the situation:
You told me to read the Time Traveler’s Wife.
That’s the whole situation.
Let’s recap:
I TOLD you I can’t read things that are dark, tragic, sad, thoughtful or, God forbid, triumphant, and then you told me to read the Time Traveler’s Wife ANYWAY.
Trust us, you said.
You’ll be glad, you said.
I would not say it’s triumphant, Katie said.
You can do it; you are a Brave Girl, said Heidi.
But I am pretty sure I can NOT do it, and I am NOT a Brave Girl.
I’m pretty sure because I’ve sort of tried.
I bought the book, and then I read half of it. A WHOLE HALF of the Time Traveler’s Wife, and I’m starting to suspect it’s tragic and triumphant. There’s an orchard and a father and brother with guns, and a Henry who tells young Claire not to worry, and a later SIGNIFICANT LOOK between the men around the dinner table. GAH! It’s like a glowing neon sign at the 50% mark, flashing DANGER! DANGER! GO BACK!
I wrote to Katie and Heidi, and also Sarah who agreed with them, and I said, “The Time Traveler’s Wife was totally engaging. And then I quit halfway through, overcome with dread at the foreshadowing of Something Terrible to Come. You guys. Seriously. I AM BROKEN. Complete anxiety. I love the characters so I’ve left them suspended half way through the book LEST SOMETHING HORRIBLE OVERTAKE THEM. I wish I could just read the end of a book when I become fearful, but then, of course, the Awful Thing Still Befalls Them, and I can’t take that risk. Have you ever read the Sesame Street book The Monster at the End of the Book where Grover selflessly does everything in his power to prevent the end of the book from coming? I AM GROVER. I am tying and gluing and locking ALL THE PAGES together. And sticking my fingers in my ears singing LALALA. I just thought you should know…”
So here we are, in the middle of my minor crisis and Henry and Claire’s VERY MAJOR crisis; we are, all three, STUCK in the middle of this book, and there are people who might DIE. I can’t, you guys. And please do not try to tell me that Henry and Claire’s crisis doesn’t count simply because they’re fictional. Characters are only fictional until they become real. Anyone who’s read The Velveteen Rabbit knows that’s so. And Henry and Claire became real when you forcibly held me down, propped my eyes open with toothpicks, and compelled me to begin reading, thus caring about what happens to them.
Frankly, you were not all that helpful in your responses.
“My unsolicited advice is to leave it groverized until you are in need of a good, fugly cry. I could barely read the words through the tears and snooger bubbles. AND THEN it had the nerve to follow me around for a week-long emotional hangover. (But, really, it’s great),” wrote Jaime. <– NO. No. THESE THINGS DO NOT MATCH, JAIME. It’s like you think I’m a NORMAL HUMAN who feels feelings and doesn’t try to alternately shove them deep, deep down inside where they will rot and eventually explode or eat enormous amounts of sugar and salt to numb myself. Are you even American, Jaime? I suspect not.
And Sarah wrote, “YOU HAVE TO FINISH!! It is beautifully tragic and hopeful all at the same time! It’s seriously not all terrible.” I’m sorry, but WHAT? WHAT, Sarah? Beautifully tragic and hopeful is ALL OF LIFE. It is not, however, reading we do for FUN. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
So I’m throwing this out there to ALL of you who’ve read The Time Traveler’s Wife with this one question:
Should I keep reading The Time Traveler’s Wife??
‘Cause I’m willing to allow for the teeny, tiny, remote possibility that you’re right and I’m wrong and that I might also be a freaking freaker who should calm the hell down and finish the damn book already. It’s just… I’m scared.
Leave me your recommendation — to read or not to read — in the comments, but no spoilers please, in case I do summon heretofore unknown reserves of reading courage.
Yours truly (and anxiously),
P.S. I sort of misled you with my opening paragraph. I do, actually, have time to write one thing that may be helpful. My bathroom, as you may know, smells like boy humans use it. This week, I tried to mask the smell with a mulberry candle, and it worked, folks. It WORKED. Now instead of my bathroom smelling like pee, it smells like mulberry candle and pee, proving once again that we do not live a life of Either/Or, friends, but of Both/And. Both mulberry candle AND pee. #SmellsLikeLife #ForTheWin
P.P.S. I just realized the cover of the Time Traveler’s Wife says, “A soaring celebration of the victory of love over time.” OH MY WORD, you guys. That’s, like, textbook triumphant.
41 responses to “Have you read The Time Traveler’s Wife? If yes, HELP.”
Don’t finish it. It’s good but not great. Years ago EVERYONE told me I had to read Water for Elephants, best book ever… But I hate to read animal stories – I spend the entire book dreading what horrible thing is sure to befall the animal. Even knowing that, I caved and began reading the book. Did I mention I also hate the circus? I got halfway through and one day I just told myself there is no law that says you have to finish every book you start, even though I have done just that my entire life. I pulled out my bookmark, gave the book back to the friend who lent it to me, said life is too short for this and never looked back.
I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, and I do read a lot of non-fiction, but when it comes to fiction, I go light. People scoff at my Nora Roberts book I’m reading, but the characters are interesting, I’m not going to need days to recover, and I’m going to enjoy the read. Works for me. I’m not sure why we only consider a book worth reading these days if it’s horribly tragic.
I also read a ton of young adult stuff and I recommend trying it out. There is some really great storytelling in a shorter, slightly less depressing form than the adult stuff I’ve been seeing on the shelves!
If you are having doubts, skip it and try something else. Plenty of books on the shelves!
[…] We’ve made an important decision about The Time Traveler’s Wife which is that I am not emotionally mature enough to read it. It’s like spending days and days […]
I say don’t read it. I read it because everyone recommended it, but then I was just like, WHAT THE HECK at the end. So I was mad I read it. Go read something good. Or rewatch Sherlock episodes until the new ones in January! (My plan.)
I just put a book down half way through. I was half way through five hours of flying at the time, so I was quite bummed to be without a book. This was just after I had gotten excited about finally finding a book that I was enjoying. But the plot line turned sharply and the main character became too stupid for me to tolerate hanging out with him any longer. So, I’ve put it down. I recommend that you do the same.
For light, happy reading of a multi-book series, I highly recommend: The Mitford Series by Jan Karon. Have you read it? Lovely people, living lovely lives, with some real-life scenarios thrown it. A very pleasant time. I’m trying to find another series like it. I’m thinking that we need a new genre for lovely, light books.
Have you read The Cat Who mysteries? While they do have a mystery, they are a slower, lighter version that are also just a slice of life in a quaint town. In some ways they reminded me of the Karon books.
I LOVED The Cat Who series!! I think I read ALL of f them! Light, no swearing and delightful littke murder mysteries..PLEASE try them!!
I too am named Stephanie. I too LOVE Jan Karon’s Mitford series. I too am looking for another series like it. I too think we need a new genre for lovely, light books! (I have not read The Time Traveler’s Wife!)
There’s enough sadness and tragedy in the real world. And life seems too short to be sad over unreal things. I only read books with a Happily Ever After.
It’s been at least 5 years since I read The Time Traveler’s Wife, and it’s one of the best-written books I’ve read. But … it’s harrowing. So here’s my answer: if you’re feeling strong, tough & invulnerable, go ahead and finish it. If not, Grover’s probably a better bet. Or reread The Golem and the Djinni …
and this from someone who *knows* it’s against the rules not to finish a book!:Now I’m going back to Court of Mist & Fury….
Are you loving Sarah Maas?? Don’t tell me if the answer is no; she’s on my current Top 5 list, and I won’t be able to handle a no. I love her and her two series to the moon and back. Have fun!
I’m going to go with no to finishing T.TTW. I’ve not read it but I don’t need to feel gutted by fiction; there’s too much reality that provokes that feeling!!
Have you read Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series? Excellent writer (imho) and great story lines ; one of the main characters is a Scottish hunk and I do love all things Scottish (except for haggis); and her books are longggg, which I love! I REALLY recommend this series!!
I enjoy your posts and your honesty, thank you. I try to hang on to “God is in control” , but some days, all one can do is breathe.
So you keep breathing, I’ll keep breathing and grab on to the Hope that is coming.
Peace out,
Carolyn
YES, I’VE READ OUTLANDERk, AND I CANNOT TALK ABOUT JAMIE EXCEPT IN ALL CAPS. I LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM, LOVE HIM, SO MUCH THAT I WOULD EAT ALL THE HAGGIS FOR HIM. GAH!
Och aye lass! I canna agrrree with ye more!
So, have seen and did you like the miniseries?
In my family, we call this phenomenon “sitcom stomach”. No advice from me because I purposely stick to breezier reading material by choice! Although I can recommend Maria Semple’s new book “Today Will Be Different”. Good luck!
SKIP IT! I’m still haunted by the collective tradegies of that book, and I read Time Traveler YEARS AGO! It’s designed for folks who like crying all over their books, which you clearly don’t like.
Me too! I read it years ago and just the other day the emotion of that book slammed me again. I’m generally all for finishing books but you must be ready for this one.
I’m an anxious reader (anxious person, actually), and I often get worried about what’s going to happen in a novel. And I love novels. So here’s my secret: skip to the end and see what happens. I know, it’s practically illegal, but I figure that if it gives me peace of mind, it’s worth it. Sometimes it helps me decide to stop reading, sometimes it helps me continue on. But if you are having so much anxiety about this book and you aren’t enjoying the emotional ride, I say stop. Not everyone loves every book. And that’s okay. I have mixed feelings about TTW. Mostly negative.
But if I read The Bad Things, then they will happen to Henry and Claire! I think I have to just leave them in limbo — like they’re frozen in a cryogenic state — until we can figure out how to extract them from the tragedy.
I loved this book. One of my favourite books. I balled my eyes out, and i love a book that gives me an emotional reaction. I found it very therapeutic to get to that reaction. However, i do believe that we are old enough to say no, to choose not to finish something. My opinion of a book is not going to be the same as anyone else’s. I love to escape into a book that completely absorbs me and i can not think about anything else except, “when can i get back to my book”, and if i am having that reaction then it becomes a favourite regardless of the topic. There are so many wonderful books and not enough time to read them, if you don’t want to finish, throw it on the floor with a triumphant “no more” and find another book. 🙂
I own and have read both books Grover
and The Time Travellers Wife. I LOVED this book
one of my all time favourites
I only have to look at the cover to be reminded of how I felt
as it ended. I walked around in a daze for days! Feeling
like I was carrying a large boulder in my chest where my heart used to be.
If you choose to finish it you WILL be traumatised.
It is a beautifully written book
I thought the book was horrible and I second the doubts about grooming behaviour. If it’s the ending you’re worried about, I wouldn’t finish. Some things cannot be made better. (also, I am really enjoying the idea of your escapist bookclub)
Go read the lost art of keeping secrets instead, by Eva Rice.
Finish the book. Why wouldn’t you? You’ve come this far – just finish it. Or you will be forever wondering if your thoughts were right and you could miss the possibility something totally surprising happens. So what if you cry through a few chapters? It’s good for everyone to have a good cry every now and then.
Nope, don’t finish. I haven’t read it because my fellow booksellers warned me away haha. I’ve never understood the need to read depressive things, life already has all that stuff. I read escapist fiction only … I want my happy ending. And never, ever pick up a book recommended by Oprah. I just can’t even with most of the plot lines.
I am not a good role model, I canNOT make myself finish ‘All the Light We Cannot See’ because, well, just read the back cover… But maybe you should just follow your gut and pause indefinitely. I believe there is a time and a place in our lives for certain stories and if this is not the time then you will just be filled with irritation and angst with none of those other good feelings you’re supposed to get from the story to offset that. I did read TTTW way back in the day and I couldn’t put it down, but that was another time and place in my life. Follow your nose!
YOh please finish it! It will gut you and break your heart but it is such a beautiful book and one of my all-time favorites. There is a neat twist at the end unrelated to the tragic part that helps take the sting off.
It was a fascinating story. I’d never read anything like it.
But really, what it boiled down to for me (and no spoilers here in case you do want to finish reading it)is that Henry, due to no fault of his own, did this amazing trick… And no matter how big his love for Clare was, he wasn’t able to be THERE for her through so many horrible things. A partner is supposed to be there for you when you’re in crisis.
And it bothered me that all that time hoppin’ where he visited her and she grew up knowing him… well, it felt like grooming behavior. I have reason to be horrified by that.
Skip reading it. Read something fun.
Abandon it and read “Let’s pretend this never happened” by Jenny Lawson instead! Laugh till you cry goodness.
I heart Jenny. She’s fabulous.
Don’t finish it. Trust me, because I totally get why you don’t read those things right now. I read it, and I loved it (so much), but I cried ALL THE TEARS. Two or three times, at least.
And also, your morbid guesses are basically correct. But not as sad and horrible as the reality.
Here’s a funny and adorable historical rom-com to read instead. It’s good and mostly loveable. I’d rate it PG.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00B1XVBI0/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1477703858&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=penelope&dpPl=1&dpID=51KHcQLJ%2BsL&ref=plSrch
I for one did not like the book at all, but my mom loved it. Life is too short and there are too many good books. Stop now.
It’s only downhill from here. Just say’n. If you don’t like those kind of books, stop while you’re ahead. Not uplifting. My bookclub read it and only two of us finished. I can’t stand to leave a book unfinished so I did, but it’s definitely not a happily ever after kind of book.
Well, having finally read it, I can tell you that it was a good read – not a “skipping off into the sunset” read, but a good read. When I read a book it must entertain me. I don’t necessarily mean it will be a laugh riot, but that the over arching dynamic of the book has to work for me: the author’s voice and style of writing, the character development, the way the story unfolds, then, finally, the plot. Like you, I don’t do scary, I don’t do overly anxiety producing, I don’t do excessive gore or language. Thought provoking, sure. Laugh-out-loud funny, absolutely. Tragic, but with a positive message, only if I’m in the mood. I have enough stress, anxiety and fear in my real life, I don’t want my “fantasy” life to have that, too. So, to read or not to read, that is the question. Yes, it has it’s dark moment – but because of the space-time continuum thing, it has it’s uplifting time too. I can tell you one thing for certain – finish the book or don’t finish it BUT DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE! It was a horrible adaptation of the book and left so much out. Good luck – I can recommend a couple titles if you find yourself in need!
Well, m’dear, this may not be helpful, but if you do not want to finish the book, then don’t! I never finished The Hobbit. However, if you to feel like you saw something through to end, then finish it! But, whatever you do, don’t turn around and watch the movie right after you finish the book. You will hate yourself.
And I am pretty sure it was your peeps who were like “oh! Read Sarah J. Maas!! She’s great! You’ll love her!” Well I cried while finishing Heir of Fire yesterday, thank you very much.
When Grover gets to the end of the book and realizes all is well, and you get to laugh with/at him for being so adorably dimwitted, it’s fun. I have read it a gazillion times. (By the by, you MUST read Cookie Monster and the Cookie Tree of Golden Book fame if you never have.) But I read TTTW at the suggestion of my husband, and it is super tragic. Awful tragic. Triumphant is not a word I would use to descibe it. Of course fictional characters become real, but I say leave them in limbo. Go read something fun and Muppet-filled. Re-read a favorite for a nice, distracting cleanse. You won’t be missing a thing.