Kids. They’re made out of SO MUCH HUMAN, friends. Horrible and holy. Awkward and awesome. Wild and weird and wonderful and ragged and radiant and full of rage and fire.
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y was a snow day which is rare in our neck of the Oregon woods. I, of course, take these things completely in stride where “in stride” is defined as using ALL CAPS all over the Facebook to let everyone know the SNOW IS COMING and we should BE PREPARED with ALL THE TUBS OF CHEAP, PROCESSED COCOA MIX and that MY KIDS ARE TAKING A SNOW DAY whether the school district gives them one or not.
Snow days are my favorite. They’re a forced change from the bustle of winter. No sports. No events. No meetings. No homework. Nothing other than staying home and hunkering down and making a fantastic mess of the house and the floors and ruining the pristine blanket of white outside with muddy footprints and snow angels made from 47% snow and 53% gravel.
My 10 year olds were too excited to sleep the night before snow arrived, and too excited to stay asleep, and therefore only caught their zzzzzzs between 11pm-3am. Which means I only caught mine between 11pm-3am. 
😳
🙄
Nevertheless, we did All the Things.
- We woke up too early. I complained about waking up too early.
- We waited for snow because in Oregon we have snow days before snow actually arrives.
- WE YELLED WHEN SNOW ARRIVED.
- We insisted on the Facebook that we did, too, have snow, and we argued with our friends from Alaska, Idaho and Colorado about What Counts as Snow.
- We wrapped the children in plastic bags and duct tape because there’s no way I’m buying snow gear for 5 children every year when we may get no snow at all and the snow we do get is likely to last 4 hours.
- We made hot chocolate.
- We spilled hot chocolate.
- We made more hot chocolate.
- We made snow cones out of SNOW.
- We made popcorn.
- We got the duct tape off the kid’s waist BEFORE he pooped his grandmother’s borrowed ski pants. FOR THE WIN!
- We dealt with Major Meltdowns from children who got no sleep and played hard fueled mostly by adrenaline and sugar.
- We were GRATEFUL FOR TEACHERS AND SCHOOL AND HOPE IT’S NOT FROZEN IN THE MORNING.
- That last one was mostly me.
- Also, I didn’t make dinner.
- Also-also, I spent the rest of the evening hiding in the tub hoping no one could find me.
All in all, it was Snow Day perfection, surrounded by muck and mayhem, joy and delight, occasional bouts of rage and tears at snowballs packed too tight before they smashed into the faces of their intended targets, and children who are stunning and gorgeous and homely and wise and fragile and kind and cruel, all wrapped up together.
I intended to get Lots of Things done. To clean the kitchen between batches of warm beverages and crying, happy kids. To write. To bake. To bask in the bliss of silent snowfall. To finish the 17 piles of laundry. To not lose my poo, not even secretly on the inside. To wrap presents. To sing too loud to Pandora’s Pentatonix holiday station. But I managed none of those things. Not one.
And it was still perfect. By which I mean utterly imperfect and exactly right. Kids, friends. They are SO MUCH OF EVERYTHING, and they ended up around my table wiping their noses on their sleeves, bickering about how many rocks, exactly, were in the snowball, and who threw it in whose face on PURPOSE — full of “did not” and “did TOO” and “did NOT” and “I SAW YOU” — all while dripping giant puddles of snowmelt on the floor, shoving popcorn in each other’s faces, and making plans for an Even More Epic Snowball Battle to start in 5 minutes. I reminded them the Next Battle was likely to end in tears, same as the first, and they looked at each other like I was crazy. Not wrong, just crazy. “We know,” they said, with duh in their voices, “but it’s SO WORTH IT.” As though there are some things in life worth taking a rock to the face and worth the fighting and tears.
I have a feeling they’re right and that they know more about the cost of joy than I do.
This is a strange season we’re in. A season full of weird politics. A season of questioning where we belong, what we’ll cling to, and what we’ll discard. A season of joy. A season of taking rocks to the face. A season of full of “did not” and “did TOO” and “did NOT” and “I SAW YOU,” which happens in my kitchen and all over the Facebook. A season of remembering the refugee. A season of having a ragtag crew around the table and considering how to both invite people to that table AND take a less privileged seat at it. A season of considering who’s left out in the cold and how, exactly, to welcome people to the magic inside, knowing there’s a muddy, mangled mess here, too.
These days, I’m finding I’m only learning one thing at a time and that I can’t see the whole pathway forward. I can only barely make out the next step of learning to love my neighbor as myself and learning that everyone is my neighbor. But my one thing right now is to look to my kids and learn from their example. Because kids. They’re made out of SO MUCH HUMAN, friends. And so much of the divine. Horrible and holy. Awkward and awesome. Wild and weird and wonderful and ragged and radiant and full of rage and fire. Angry at taking rocks to the face. Eager to fight for justice. Willing to keep finding joy anyway.
And so, amen.
Sending love, friends, and wishes for snow days to come,
P.S. For those of you southwest of Portland, Oregon — or who want to come from afar — I’m hosting Whiskey and Worship this Tuesday, December 13th. You can find all the details here. This is the first of what I hope will become a monthly event. Our goal is to create a safe and sacred space that is open, welcoming and affirming of all comers, focused only on corporately loving God no matter our definition of the Divine, loving each other, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. This is a space free of coercion and attempts at conversion, because gross. And, especially, this is a place to bring our whole selves — perfect, imperfect, messy, magical — understanding we are made in the very image of a God whose love for us, exactly as we already are, is endless.
The tavern is solely reserved for our group and use. Come at 7 to grab your drink and food and say hello. Nate Macy and Shawna Gordon will lead us in worshiping the Jesus we know and love starting at 7:30. I get not all y’all are Jesusy people — that’s, frankly, one of my favorite things about this space — but for those of you who are, and for those of you who are weary of the way the church has been acting more as gatekeeper than welcomer, this event is for you.
10 responses to “On Kids, Who Are Horrible and Holy, and Who Have Much to Teach Us in This Season”
I want you to know I continue to read you quite often and really adore your writing. I just don’t often tell you, so here your are. Merry Christmas.
Are you ready to do it all again?!!!! Up to 7 inches here in Salem on Wednesday. I’m not entirely sure if I’m excited or pre-exhausted.
Hi, Beth — I am SO not a Jesus-y person, but I’ll tell you what, if I didn’t live 11 hours away I would totally join you for Whiskey and Worship. Your “take” on religion gives me hope about the state of things, and I hope you guys have a great time on Tuesday. I was just today thinking that I hadn’t seen anything from you too recently and hoping that all was well in your crazy chaotic world, so it was great to open my email just now and see this post. Hope you and yours have a great holiday season!
You know, I was just noticing that there is a sort-of unnatural number of “hopes” in that comment, but then I realized that’s probably okay since, actually, reading your posts always seems to give me a sense of hope. 😉
We wrapped the children in plastic bags and duct tape because there’s no way I’m buying snow gear for 5 children every year when we may get no snow at all and the snow we do get is likely to last 4 hours.
I so understand this. Only my last child, who is the 6th, and the “middle-age surprise” child and therefore essentially an only child has ever had snow pants or boots. This is also the very practical yet on occasion impractical reason I’ve never had a raincoat or rain boots. (Or any snow gear at all.)
Great post. That is all.
Whiskey and Worship?!?! Suddenly I wish I lived southwest of Portland, Oregon!
Make travel plans! 😀
Kids. They’re made out of SO MUCH HUMAN, friends. Horrible and holy. Awkward and awesome. Wild and weird and wonderful and ragged and radiant and full of rage and fire.
This is my truth this week. My anxiety ridden, depressed 13 year old girl child started private school on Monday and lasted ONE day. The second day she refused to go back – even though this was her choice, her wish, her dream. So, I spent $1000 on 1 day of private school and she ended up back in her public school where her friends (who she claims she doesn’t have) welcomed her back with open arms. She WENT to school EVERY DAY this week. EVERY DAY! I don’t remember the last time that happened. She’s happy for the moment until she’s not and then she becomes horrible, hidey and ragged and SO MUCH HUMAN. P.S. I am not Jesusy AT ALL but would love to join you for a glass of whiskey. If only, I didn’t live on the opposite coast.
Oh, I have SO BEEN THERE, friend, with the Kid and the School and the Momentary Happiness and Spending the Money only to learn I didn’t have to Spend the Money and being, in the end, simply grateful she’s happy.
SENDING LOVE. Also, raising my glass to you.