These Are Our Consecutive Weeks of Unprotected Grinding

This isn’t a real post.

This is a check-in because I haven’t written a real post.

In brief, here’s what’s happening around our house:

1. I’m writing. All the words. All the time. Morning ‘til night. Weekdays and weekends. Just writing and writing and writing. More soon.

2. The dog ate Greg’s dental night guards a couple weeks ago and it’ll be at least one more before he gets the replacements. That means all I’ve heard and will hear for the foreseeable future is that these are our Consecutive Weeks of Unprotected Grinding.

“Hey, Beth. We’re on week 2 of Unprotected Grinding.”

“Headed to bed now. For more Unprotected Grinding.”

“Guess what? They lost my impressions. You know what that means. Extra Unprotected Grinding.” 

It cracks Greg up EVERY TIME HE SAYS IT. And he says it a LOT. So much that I’m starting to think it’s funny. Pretty soon, I’m going to break, friends. I can feel the burble of giggling in my belly. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome — I AM STARTING TO IDENTIFY WITH MY CAPTOR. It’s only getting stronger with time. 


3. I thought about starting a new series from now through the election of 2020 called This Week in Nope: Why Donald Trump Gets Zero Stars. Just to, you know, DRIVE HOME WHY WE SHOULD NOT RE-ELECT HIM. Then I realized that’s likely to piss people off who really, really want people to sympathize with their desire to vote for him. Then I realized — meh, whatever —I don’t care; sounds like Not My Problem. Then I realized I’m unlikely to follow through on anything weekly and if I were to follow through on something weekly it should be, like, bathing or something. Or maybe responding to my children’s texts. Or maybe finishing a whole cup of coffee. There are several items in my life that ought to get prime time billing over DJT. Still — This Week in Nope could be an occasional thing. I haven’t kept my mouth shut yet. Why start now?

Speaking of which… This Week in Nope: Why Donald Trump Gets Zero Stars, His Fiscal 2021 Budget. “This fiscal 2021 budget, released Monday, includes cuts to the Social Security program. So why aren’t retirees up in arms? That’s because the reductions are aimed at the part of Social Security program that provides benefits to about 8.5 million disabled workers – and not the monthly retirement benefits.”

FYI, cruel shit like that is why Jesus invented a barf emoji. 

4. I have nothing else to add. Except I tried to go to an appointment early this week — I just thought it would be interesting to see what it’s like to feel proactive and prepared — so I PLANNED AHEAD and I GAVE MYSELF ENOUGH TIME and then, as soon as I was dressed and caffeinated and ready to go, the dog escaped and I had to chase her around the side of the house in my nice clothes. You’ll be happy to know she enjoyed herself very much, including the part at the end where I had to tackle her in the mud to catch her. Lord love a duck. So I was late to my appointment, AND I was sweaty, AND I was muddy which is pretty much exactly like always, except I wasted a TON of time “planning ahead.” In conclusion, two thumbs down to preparation. Do not recommend. 

Waving in the dark,




P.S. I would ❤️ to retreat with you!

Retreats in March to the Oregon Coast and July to  Italy are currently sold out. If you’re interested in being wait listed, please let me know! Registration is still open for November at the Oregon Coast. We also may be adding two smaller retreat experiences for April and May — stay tuned!

Click here for general retreat information. Or, if you want to head straight to the registration pages, you can register via my farm website, CAIRNS FARM:

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5 responses to “These Are Our Consecutive Weeks of Unprotected Grinding”

  1. I totally agree to point no. 4! Makes perfect sense, why prepare early only to end up late? I’m always against this policy. You are hilarious!!

    I did not become sympathetic. I did not succumb to laughter. I did not giggle. What did I do?? You know that Mount Everest-sized pile of dirty laundry spilling out of the hamper in every bedroom of the house (okay, I lie…there are no dirty clothes in any of the hampers…said clothes are spread across every square foot of floor space). However, in said pile are dirty socks. Many dirty socks. I protected my man from unprotected grinding. I helped. Quickly and cheaply. Note: Also helps with snoring and snide comments about no clean clothes to wear in the whole damn house.

  3. #3 for the win – please. I didn’t realize that about the Social Security benefits (mainly b/c I avoid reading or listening to anything about DJT as it upsets me so greatly and I have no outlet for my hatred) – that hits right square at home.

    Love you, Beth!

  4. Can I suggest a cheap alternative to unprotected grinding during this trying time of waiting for the molds to be remade? These cheap sports guards work pretty well – you boil it for a minute to soften the plastic and then bite down to mold it to your teeth. After using expensive dentist guards for a while, hubby only uses these now.
    (not brand specific – these just came up first in the search results)

  5. 4 Stars for 0 Stars! Thanks for checking in. Those of us with misophonia send you mad props for having lived with the UG for as long as you have. Stay strong.

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