Is there anything better than a fluffy body pillow when you’re sleepy? Qubit says yes—it’s even better when the body pillow is your big brother.
As if she hasn’t endured enough, Quantum developed mastitis a few days ago. WHICH ISN’T FAIR. And IDK why some mamas go through All the Tough Things, but I AM convinced this is why we have each other. So we can help ease each other’s burdens. Or, when we can’t be there, we can at least bear witness and sit in the dark together, reminding each other the dawn is coming.
With antibiotics, Quantum is much improved. Still tender. A little vulnerable. But on the upswing. And Leap and I are doing what we can with warm compresses and giving Quantum the smaller, gentler kits while Leap takes the Bigs…the Breast Brawlers who multitask, slurping sloppily while playing King of Boob Mountain.
And I will tell you, I, too, have been feeling tender. A little vulnerable. Because I know fostering felines while parenting 5 children, working, managing mental illness, and planning a wedding makes no practical sense. But I did it anyway because on a deeper, more fundamental level than Sense, there was Need. And also Love. Both of which defy Sense from time to time.
Now, I don’t mind being Ridiculous. I’m comfortable being Absurd. But we’re living in a pandemic, we have a racism crisis, and there is civil unrest. My kids of color, my kids with special needs, my kids who are queer, face rampant discrimination daily. CONSTANTLY. And I? I’m writing about cats. I just…I don’t know, friends…even though I’m all about the Both/And—I can be justice-minded AND laser-focused on kittens—it was a stretch to think anyone would understand how I needed this Quantum Leap as much as they needed me. How I needed them MORE. In the midst of this turmoil. In the muck and the mire. How these creatures are the magic. The spark and the sparkle.
But then you came along. And you GOT it, friends. What’s more? You needed them, too. And you told me so. You traveled with me to the levels beyond Sense. To Need and Love. And I’m not quite sure how to express what that’s meant to me, so I guess I’ll just say this: Thank you for joining me. Thank you for helping me bear witness. Thank you for sitting with us in the dark and for believing in the dawn together. It’s nice not to be alone.
I keep seeing everyone’s super beautiful pics where they cartoonify themselves with that app, so I tried it with pics I already had on my phone. Am I doing it right? ‘Cause I feel like I’m nailing it.
P.S. I tried to cartoonify the kittens, but the app didn’t recognize their faces. 🙄
One response to “Kitten Watch Update: June 9”
Nailed it! Both your batch of pics and your admission of need. Sometimes I need to hyperfocus on something that infuses me with joy so I don’t drown in responsibility. In impotence. In dread.