OK — in an extraordinary feat of patience (aka, not my strongest suit), I’ve been waiting ALMOST A YEAR to share this news with you. The REAL news, instead of the previous *hints* of news. The REVEAL of the Thing We Did. The IF WE’RE GOING TO FAIL, AT LEAST WE’RE GOING TO FAIL BIG announcement.
So here it is:
WE BOUGHT A FARM.
A WHOLE FARM! ...
We got our dog a pet bunny. Not on purpose. It was very much an accident. Still, that’s what happened, and now here we are.
This is my lap at home.
ALL THE TIME.
Someone please bring me coffee and a bedpan. I’m not moving anytime soon.
So what happened, you ask? Fine; I shall tell you. Here’s the long version.
My kid has a friend, and the friend’s name is Rowan. ...
Folks, if you have a partner to flirt with, might I recommend you take a page out of Greg’s book and gift your significant other a personalized trophy?
Look, no one on Planet Earth doesn’t want to be recognized for their fine work. Or, without the double negative, All the People want to know they’re doing a good job. Yes? Yes. Of course, yes. Which is why a trophy is the perfect medium for appreciation. It’s an award. It’s a forever keepsake. And, personalized appropriately, it shows how well the giver knows you. How deeply you’re seen. How well you’re understood and valued. ...
My 20yo texted me from college this morning, asking how long to microwave a 25 pound turkey. In case anyone else needs to know, here are the directions
How to Microwave a 25 Pound Turkey ...
I moved my couch last week, which is always a big mistake. Huge, really. And in retrospect, I can think of no worthy justification. Just literally none.
I mean, moving it for a party so more people will fit? It seems like a good reason to displace furniture, but now that I know what sort of dust and allergens, biohazards and malice I’ve stirred up, I really should’ve just let traffic flow suffer. Let people trip over the couch arms. Risk folks being trapped in the living room with no good exit strategy. But I failed to conduct the proper cost/benefit analysis for Couch Moving, even though I have excellent raw data that show the precarious predicament we always face. ...
Y’all, here’s the sitch…
I’m doing too many things, and they’re all important so I won’t stop doing any of them.
Sound familiar? Yes? Yes. I figured I was in good company around here.
I was so tired last night my teeth hurt. Like, into my jaw. And my eyelids were sticky. I think it’s their cry for help. I pulled the feverish, puking kid into bed with me, kicked Greg out, and stayed up until 3am reading Spellbinder by Thea Harrison and eating a tub of chocolate macaroons I found hiding in the back of the pantry. Not the wholetub, though. I left one because moderation is important. ...
{Content Warning: Use of a homophobic slur.}
Alright. Middle school began last week for my two sixth graders, which always makes a mama’s heart flutter, and here’s how it’s going: MOSTLY WONDERFUL.
My kids are feeling confident.
They’re finding their groove.
They appear to have other sixth grade humans to sit with at lunch, so the Very Worst, Most Awful Part of the Day seems handled. ...
