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Easy Peasy, Two Ingredient Jam Tart
Alright, folks. It’s 5 days ‘til Christmas, and I don’t know about you, but I still have 85,000 things to do and the energy for, like, 6 of them. It’s OK, though. I am not panicking, and do you know why? Because I intend to half-ass All the Things from here on out. I will…
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The Fastest, Easiest, Juiciest Turkey-Cooking Method is Spatchcocking. Because Jesus Loves Us.
I read an article in The New York Times on how to roast a turkey in 45 minutes. FORTY FIVE MINUTES, friends, to cook a 12+ pound bird. Not only that, but this method results in tastier, juicier, more evenly cooked meat with crisper skin. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to…
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A Vote for Trump is a Vote for Tuna
. Greg texted me yesterday with important information about participating in a class action settlement. A class action settlement, friends, and not just any class action settlement, like the one where you can get $20 in deodorant or the one where you can get $3.70 because you used a Talbots credit card. No; compared to this…
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Proof America No Longer Leads the World in Innovation
Dear America, This is a Spaghetti Sandwich. It’s an enriched, bleached, white wheat roll stuffed with spaghetti noodles and red sauce; simple carbohydrates wrapped in simple carbohydrates, and, I think we can all agree, nutritionally deficient GENIUS. GENIUS, I tell you. You would think this kind of innovation came from America. It’s our legacy. It’s…