Last night was Halloween, and it was weird for us. For the first time in 22 years, we took no children trick-or-treating. The combination of COVID days and mental health and older kids who don’t feel the need to trick-or-treat made it an easy decision. A non-decision, really. We discussed it for less than a minute, and then we moved on.
Now, listen. If you have younger kids—or really kids of ANY age—who DID care … Continue Reading “Sorry Our Kids Left Their Beer Bong on the Porch”
The pandemic continues, Oregon is on fire along with the rest of the West, and even though the fire a couple miles from our house is now 75% contained (THANK YOU, FIREFIGHTERS!), my brain is broken. Just totally kaput. Zero percent battery, and I forgot where I put my brain charger.
I was feeling badly about this, as though my inability to get anything done is proof that I’m a lazy sack who doesn’t deserve … Continue Reading “15 Realistic Recipes to Feed Your Family in an Apocalypse”
This is Abby (the human) and Lulu (the dog).
That pic is from 3 months ago, which means Lulu is now 45x bigger.
He is not a labradoodle, after all.
He is either a small, black bear, or a moose, or a husky, feral, adorable kindergarten boy named something that ends with -y. Like Kenny. Or Jeffy. Or Tommy.
You know the one. He’s the kid who has NO IDEA how long his limbs are. … Continue Reading “All of 2020: A Story about Dog Poo”
Listen, friend. I will give you one — and only this one — opportunity to stop reading. If periods gross you out, you should be done. Right now. Click away. Abort. SAVE YOURSELF. Or carry on. I don’t care — *shrug* — I’ve done what I can. Now it’s on you.
I don’t really know what to say about this other than it’s worse than The Day I Pooped My Closet. And I do … Continue Reading “This Is Worse Than the Day I Pooped My Closet”
I found a turd on my desk this morning.
An actual poop.
Just one tiny tootsie roll, all by itself, still fresh. Puppy sized. But there was no way for the puppy to get on my desk, and, also, he wasn’t in my room. Which means the turd just spontaneously materialized there. Or someone put it there. Except WHO WOULD DO THAT so I’m going with Option A — spontaneous materialization. I … Continue Reading “26 May 2020 — The COVID Diaries: Staying Sane in a Time That’s Not”
I spent all day reorganizing the pantry because I decided I’m going to feel like a fantastic idiot if the Cascadia Earthquake hits and I didn’t use this time I have at home to ensure we’re adequately prepared.
Like, you know what I’m saying, Diary?
Who lives through one massive crisis and fails to learn lessons for other potential crises?
And SINCE WE’RE LIVING IN THE WEIRDEST POSSIBLE TIMELINE where we … Continue Reading “2 May 2020 — The COVID Diaries: Staying Sane in a Time That’s Not”
I’m finding in a time of global stress it’s very important to manage interactions online, which are, while we’re in isolation, our main outlet for interactions of any kind. And, not to brag, but I’d like the record to reflect that my social media game is on point, especially following Beth’s 3 Basic Tenets of Conscientious Engagement — 1. Post what’s truthful, 2. Post what’s just, and 3. Post what’s kind.