Things I Forgot Today

I want my own version of the TV show 24.  It can show at every hour all the things I forget to do.  I’m pretty sure I can fill an entire series.

I’ve had too many things to do this week.  Eighteen after-school appointments and activities in the past four days, to be exact.  And that’s after I canceled three things I couldn’t fit. ...  read more

Not Boring, Always Weird

“Mom!” Abby yelled, indignantly.  “Ian called me weird!”

“Yes, Abby.  You’re weird,” I replied.  “Ian’s weird.  I’m weird.  We’re all weird in this family.  We only let the weirdos in, because normal people are boring.  Sorry.  It’s something of a family curse. You see, once upon a time, approximately forty years ago, your Papa vowed to your Nana that she’d never be bored.  From that point on, we were doomed.  Our special contribution to the No Boredom Curse is being a family of weirdos.  You’re welcome.” ...  read more

On Your Marker Contest Winners

On Sunday, I shared an artistic masterpiece I created at the tender age of 11.  Because nothing says “Happy B-day, Mommy” like a frowning man in a dress.

By way of a contest, I invited you to rewrite the inside of the card (without revealing my original message), and, boy howdy, did you come through.  At every response, I deeply regretted issuing the challenge because I have some sort of bronchial mess going on, and you made me laugh and cough and laugh and cough. ...  read more

On Your Marker

Today, my parents brought over evidence that I missed my vocational calling as an artist.

This is a card I made in 1984, when I was 11 years old:

Because nothing says “Happy B-day, Mommy” like a frowning man in a dress with I HOPE in all caps underlined 6 times.

Can I get an Amen?

My dad says this is my first attempt at blogging.  I say this is proof you really shouldn’t keep all the things your children make. ...  read more

Boys and Girls

When I was almost a mom, preparing to adopt our daughter, I told my dad all about my plans for my child.

In my house, my daughter would play with blocks, legos, and Tonka trucks.  She would wear overalls and play in the mud.

Oh, sure, she’d have dolls and dresses, but I was determined to expose her equally to toys that are traditionally separated by gender. ...  read more

Cocky or Confident?

This is a picture of my brother:

I’m using it without permission.  I stole it off of his gmail status.

It’s not a very good picture.  (Why are you using this picture, Jeff?  You look like you’re being successfully hypnotized.)

I’m just calling it right now – I’ve already managed to make my mom really mad.  What do you mean by ‘It’s not a very good picture?,’ she’s thinking.  It’s a lovely picture.  He looks like a Hollywood star. ...  read more

A terrible, awful, very good day

I was 2.5 hours late to work yesterday morning.

I took a kid to a doctor’s appointment in the morning.  The appointment was a half-hour long and an hour round-trip from home, so part of my delay to work was planned.

Then, just as I was headed out of town for my 22-minute commute to work, my husband called.   Whenever a conversation starts with “Where are you?” you know there’s a hovering shoe waiting to drop. ...  read more