Smart Phone

I have a new phone.  It’s smart.

I feel like I should be upset when technology is smarter than me.  Like, on the basis of some kind of humans-first principle, I should believe that smart phones are a threat and may take over the world.  A sign of the apocalypse?  Mark of the Beast, anyone?

Instead, I’m just relieved that someone, somewhere is writing software I can use.  Thank you, Someone.  I’ll freak out later, like when they want to implant a smart phone chip in my forehead.  Or when smart phones can be really, truly helpful and babysit, shop for my groceries, and tell me when my wardrobe needs updating.  (FYI, that wardrobe app will simply read “always.”) ...  read more

Look What I Can(‘t) Do

My life is a lot easier when I remember which things I do well, and admit where I need help.

Recently, I made an awesome, fabulous trade that saved me hours and hours of time.

Abby had an important event at school.  A really cool event, actually.  Each middle school student picked a notable historical character to research as a cross-curricular project.  There were language arts, science, and social studies components.  The project culminated yesterday evening in a “Night of the Notables” event where we parents got to meet the costumed characters in person and learn about their contributions to our world. ...  read more

I have to wash my hair.

Greg and I have a large capacity for handling sick kids.

In the middle of the night, by just the light of the moon and an LED nightlight, we can change vomit-laced sheets, reroute children to new beds, stop bloody noses in less than 5 minutes flat, open up asthmatic airways, and correctly dose medications in syringes, droppers and spoons.

Our skills were honed the same way desperate parents throughout time have perfected their craft.  Practice, practice, practice. ...  read more

The Hairried Truth

I’m not saying I have under-the-chin hairs.

Thick, black hairs that grow out of my lily white skin for everyone to see.

But, hypothetically speaking, if I did have under-the-chin hairs, I’d have to find time in my busy schedule to pluck them.

We moms are a busy breed.

We squeeze in things any way we can.

I, for example, can’t remember the last time I sat and watched an entire TV show without doing something else simultaneously.  I work on the computer, bake cookies, sew, edit photos, scrapbook, and wrap presents.  I update our calendar, pay bills, and send reminders to my husband to update our calendar and pay bills.  All of which happens after kids are in bed, of course, because I can’t even think about sitting while they’re awake. ...  read more

Cocky or Confident?

This is a picture of my brother:

I’m using it without permission.  I stole it off of his gmail status.

It’s not a very good picture.  (Why are you using this picture, Jeff?  You look like you’re being successfully hypnotized.)

I’m just calling it right now – I’ve already managed to make my mom really mad.  What do you mean by ‘It’s not a very good picture?,’ she’s thinking.  It’s a lovely picture.  He looks like a Hollywood star. ...  read more