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How to Name a Baby Mulligan
There’s a part of me that fears that no one will come to my parties ever again. Then there’s the part of me that keeps making up new baby shower games. The second part says to the first part, “Screw you, sucka! I don’t care if you make new friends. I just wanna laugh at…
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Racing
Peer pressure is alive and well, even though I’m 37. You’d think I’d have learned by now. If your friend jumps off a bridge, would you jump, too? Sadly, I must answer yes. Yes. If my beloved sister-in-law Kim jumps off a bridge, I’ll be right there next to her, plummeting to my death. In…
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Little House on the Prairie
I feel very Little House on the Prairie right now. Kids: Pa! Ma’s stuck in bed with pneumonia and the winter storm’s comin’ on! What are we gonna do, Pa? Pa: Well, we hardly know how to feed and clothe ourselves without yer Ma, but we’re just gonna do the best we can, kids. The…
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I have to wash my hair.
Greg and I have a large capacity for handling sick kids. In the middle of the night, by just the light of the moon and an LED nightlight, we can change vomit-laced sheets, reroute children to new beds, stop bloody noses in less than 5 minutes flat, open up asthmatic airways, and correctly dose medications…