Five Ingredient Fried Rice

If there’s something more difficult to scrape off the bottom of my sock than cooked rice, I don’t know what it is.

Really. I don’t know. Pretty please, don’t tell me. It’s probably something way more disgusting than rice, and I’ve probably had it stuck to my sock at one point or another, and I probably have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I’ve probably blocked it from my memory. Please, as a favor to a mom of five, let it stay blocked. ...  read more

5-Ingredient Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

Sometimes as a mama, I need to feel like I’m nourishing my family.

I mean, I realize that I do nourish them, and, when I actually get it right, that includes lots of various parts; their bellies, their brains, and their hearts.

But sometimes I need to feel it. Deep down in my bones, I need to know I’ve done more than keep my family alive for one more day. ...  read more

Balls of Meat (aka, Meatballs)

My son is a carnivore. Ian’s ideal meal is meat wrapped in meat with a side of meat.

Ian, in fact, had a brief flirtation with a life of meat-centered crime when he stole BBQ ribs from my friend, Leanne. It’s probably not entirely his fault. I mean, he did ask if he could have some, and Leanne, who was making the ribs for her extended family get-together later that day, had the audacity to say no. I know. It’s hard to believe I’m friends with a woman who can look an 8-year-old boy in a face like this ...  read more

UPDATED: Easy-Peasy FAST Homemade Cinnamon Rolls

Easy-Peasy FAST Homemade Cinnamon Rolls
(or – Cinnamon Rolls That Are Actually Possible to Make When You Have Five Kids)
**updated with directions for freezing and baking from frozen — see below**

Homemade cinnamon rolls are one of our Christmas morning traditions. They also take hours and hours to make. Once upon a less-than-five-kids time, that was dandy, even blissful. An afternoon in a freshly scrubbed kitchen working with dough? Yes, please! But these days I’m lucky if I can grab an hour, and I’m even luckier if I can find a clean work surface. ...  read more

Hot Dogs & Spaghetti: A Gorgeous Plate of Wrong

Hot Dogs & Spaghetti: A Gorgeous Plate of Wrong

I find that the beginning of winter break is a fantastic time to mess with my kids’ heads.

This plate of spaghetti-impaled hot dogs?

It’ll do. The freak-out factor was satisfyingly high.

If you, too, want to make your kids wonder what’s wrong with you while teaching them to play with their food (which can only create problems for everyone later – yeehaw!), then here’s what you’ll need: ...  read more

Tie-Dyed Christmas Cake

Abby invited a handful of teenagers to our house last weekend.

We planned to go ice skating, but the rink was closed for a recital. Then we planned to go to our little town’s First Friday Artwalk, which I thought sounded delightful, but which actually, I was told, is boring and cold. Then we planned to play board games inside our nice, warm house, but it turns out that all of the board games we own are stupid, boring, babyish, boring, and boring. (I thought Hi-Ho-Cherry-o and Disney Friends Sorry sounded like the perfect games for middle schoolers, but they assured me I’m wrong. Very wrong. Very, very wrong. Wrong.) ...  read more

Grandma Mabel’s Banana Bread

Greg’s grandma Mabel made a mean banana bread.  Which is nothing compared to her accomplishment of raising 5 children to adulthood and only once forgetting a child at a gas station.  But, since I don’t have her recipe for raising children, you’re stuck with banana bread.  Sorry.  I assure you, my disappointment in the trade-off is greater than yours. ...  read more