The Ladder Up

Hey, guess what?
I found the Ladder out of Depression!
The LITERAL ladder.

photo 3 (53)

^^^ Bad news is, it looks like this. ^^^


Several months ago, I found myself back in the Depression Hole, which was an enormous surprise given the fact that I wasn’t sad. An occasional teeny, tiny raging bitch, perhaps. Nearly beside myself with anxiety anytime I left my children, sure. More and more reclusive, absolutely. And having a terrible time breathing through it all. But not “depressed,” per se. Evidence mounted, though, that I had a Big Problem and that the only way out was to start climbing. Again. Which felt very pppffffftttt. And blerg. And OOF. And it’s been slow going, this determined walk toward slow hope, which seems kind of sucky except when I remember that “slow going” and “slow hope” include the words going and hope which are enough for now because they’re progress, and progress is better than being stuck. ...  read more

Since I’m on Vacation, Inventing a Title for This Totally Disjointed, Random, Blogkeeping Post Seems Like Extraordinarily Hard Work and So I’ve Decided Not to Title It at All

This isn’t a real blog post. This is a blog-keeping post. So if this is your first visit here, go here or here or here or here. You’ll be happier, I swear. Unless you don’t like reading about pee or penises or imperfect parenthood. Then you won’t be happier and you should probably get out now. Like, RUN as fast and as far from this place as you can because happiness is not possible for you here, and it was very nice knowing you but GO, NOW and SAVE YOURSELF. ...  read more

A Determined Walk Toward Slow Hope: An Update on Depression

This is not a real post. I am far, far too giddy and drunk on I Am Responsible for ZERO Kids Right Now to write a real post.

But it is an update of sorts. An update on depression in disguise. And anxiety. And finding a way out.

An encouragement, hopefully. And a determined walk toward slow hope.

Because, you see, Greg and I are away. Away away. From home. On purpose. For 40ish hours, we’re away, and I can go potty whenever I want. What’s more, I bet Greg isn’t going to lay on the floor outside the bathroom and stick his fingers under the door and say, “MomMomMomMomMommyMom” or ask “ARE YOU DONE YET?” or holler “MY BROTHER JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE PENIS.” He probably won’t yell that even once. And I’m not sure I can adequately express the kind of jaw-dropping, drool-inducing, mind-blowing bliss that comes from that knowledge. ...  read more

The Sand in My Shoes

I’m sitting in the sun on the beach on the northern Puget Sound, listening to the relentless cries of seagulls. We’ve been here four days and they bicker day and night, night and day, never resting. I hear them at 3pm while I watch the water, wondering whether I remembered to sunscreen the littles today, and I hear them at 4am while Greg and the littles snore around me. Bicker, bicker, bicker all the time. Or maybe they’re celebrating and not fighting at all; my kids will tell you I get those confused sometimes. ...  read more

See You Next Week

I’m on vacation this week, camping with my family.

Camping with my family for 8 days.

Eight days in a row.

Of camping with my family.

So far, here are 5 Fun Facts About Our Vacations:

  1. Someone will always throw up the night before we leave.
  2. Someone will always throw up at the beginning of a long ride in the car.
  3. It will not necessarily be the same someone.
  4. No matter how prepared we are, the throw-up will never entirely make it in the ziplock bag.
  5. Certain husbands and wives who love each other very, very much should never (ever, ever) put up tents together. Like, ever.

That is all. I’ll see you on the flipside.

Back next week,

P.S. If you don’t already hang out with this community on Facebook, come on over. We have a good time, usually when I tell an embarrassing or inappropriate story and then your comments make it way more hilarious. Like here, and here, and here, and here...  read more

How to Have a Successful Family Vacation

When I was pregnant with twins and completely out of my mind with Oh Dear God, I Can’t Do This Five Kids Thing, my friend Christy, a fellow mama of multiples, said, “Don’t worry. Every 3 months, something gets easier.”

Christy was right. Well, except when she was wrong. But mostly she was right. Every 3 months, in general, something did get easier. ...  read more

3 Road Trip Games for the Whole Family

We’re away on vacation this week.

Our family has a favorite road trip game.

Our third favorite road trip game is the Hay Game, where you see a field of hay or a truck transporting hay or a bailer bailing hay or a cow eating hay, and you yell, “HAY.” Except, of course, you have to say it as though you’re irritated with your neighbor, like “Hey!” and hope they fall for it, getting all worked up because they didn’t do anything wrong. Then you can smugly point at the hay. ...  read more